Dissertation Boot Camp

Done

2009-09-04T19:40:00.002-05:00

For those of you who are Boot Camping, keep fighting the good fight.

Even though it was never all that encouraging for me to hear that other people had finished, b/c, well, it wasn't *me* who was finishing, I feel it is an earned right of passage here on DBC for me to declare that I am now Doctor D.

So congratulations to me.

Oh, and you all might be interested to know that dissertation committees are generally not amused when you write in you acknowledgments: "I'd like to thank myself, because, after all, it was I who did all the hard work." I found it amusing. Still do

The Advisor issue

2009-08-14T09:03:00.002-05:00

So, there are two ways to track progress- what you are actually getting done and what your advisor thinks you should be getting done. Or where they think you should be. I guess the sticking point there is, usually, you're not as smart as they are yet, so you probably won't make progress according to their schedule. How in the heck do you rectify that? I'm not where he thinks I should be, that point is probably 2 months off. Any suggestions???

Well, I am back at it...

2009-05-27T09:15:00.003-05:00

Since I have been gone so long, it probably seems like I was never here!!

I am officially going back to GWU 3 times a week to work on my research, after all, I have 64 credits so all I need is the dissertation to finish. Simple, yes?? Ha ha!!

But now I have real time for this, although I still feel guilty that my 2 year old is a full-time daycare kid now, and I don't bring home any money. I keep telling myself it is temporary and I need to have time to finish as trying to do this at home while watching her just didn't cut it. It's going to be a long time and a long road, but at least I have really started.

Speaking of which, time to go...

Successfully defended

2009-04-03T13:54:00.002-06:00

I know I've been a silent contributor since I joined. I hope that the news of having successfully defended my dissertation last week might serve as an explanation. Color me relieved. I'm particularly ecstatic about having been awarded a distinction not to mention no revisions as such.

It sure feels good to be done....to those working their way to the finish line, yes you can!

Busy

2009-03-09T20:33:00.003-06:00

Popping back in for another update. I'm in the middle of a couple very busy weeks. Out of town for a campus visit last week, phone interview this morning, talking about my diss in a class of newbie grad students tonight, covering a class tomorrow for a friend who'll be out of town, on my own way out of town mid-week. Another interview at the out-of-town conference, another campus visit next week.

Perhaps amazingly, I am getting a lot of good work done on my diss.

And in unrelated matters, I bought myself an iPod touch this weekend. It is fan-freaking-tastic.

Checking back in

2009-02-27T22:20:00.002-06:00

I don't know if this blog is on anyone's radar anymore, but I'm thinking about renewing my commitment to using it as a spot to talk about my progress. Writing has been moving very steadily for me lately-- all the time I've spent reading, scrawling, and thinking (without much text/product to show for it) seems to be paying off.

I had a phone interview this morning, did a little bit of tidying and organizing, then I took the rest of the day off. I'll be working a full day tomorrow, and I'm actually looking forward to it.

So if you're around and checking this blog, I love comments and commiserations. And if it's just me talking to myself here, well that's what I do quite often anyway. Might as well have a record of it. :)

Congrats!

2008-12-11T14:04:00.000-06:00

Congratulations, Dr. Billie, Ph.D.!!!!!!!

Checking In (post dissertation defense "meeting")

2008-11-20T16:40:00.000-06:00

Hey, everyone:

This blog as been weirdly quiet these past six weeks. Where is everyone? How are you all doing?

Just a quick update with me. For reasons that will very quickly become apparent, I can't write much here as this is a public space. While I have a good sense of who peeks in to this blog (a statcounter), I don't know who these folks are in reality. So best bet? Say nothing incriminating. :-)

I submitted my dissertation to my committee about six weeks ago. The defense was scheduled for yesterday (November 19th). There was, um ... , dissention, and um ..., issues, and um ..., differences that I didn't know about or was prepared for. Instead of a defense, we had a "meeting." My defense has been rescheduled for December 10th.

As you probably understand, this has been a very very difficult experience. (Heh, and I thought writing the damn thing was hard enough.) I'm not yet sure what to expect in three weeks. Probably everything will be fine, but I have very little confidence of that fact right now.

I know how busy you all are (and would like to hear how you are all doing), but any extra good vibes you might have going into the next three weeks? I could use them.

Submitted Dissertation to Committee Today

2008-10-03T22:39:00.002-05:00

If you follow me on Twitter and Facebook updates, you know that I submitted my completed dissertation to my committee this afternoon.

After months and months and years of working at this degree, and feeling as if I would never come to the end of the work given all the other responsibilities in my life, I have. I'm almost at the end. My director's comments were that the committee will read over the work for the next few weeks, makes notes about what I need to modify, then we'll schedule a defense for early November. Between now and the first of December, I'll make whatever changes are necessary to the work. But it's possible that by early November, I'll be a Ph.D.

I write that-- "early November" --and it doesn't seem quite real. Holy crap. Digression: when I lived in Tokyo I used to just walk down the street-- minding my own business. I would have these sudden attacks of surreal moments: "I'm walking down the street in Tokyo, Japan," I would tell myself. It didn't seem right. Me. In Japan. Completing the dissertation and being a Ph.D.? It's like that, surreal.

Suddenly, I'm very, very tired.

Things I will do now that I'm not writing about alternative programs and pedagogies for underprepared student-athletes (but I'll do them starting tomorrow):

Take photographs. I have missed my camera and using photography as a way of seeing the world. Maybe I won't go back to Project 365-- as I did that for 18 months-- I think I'll start something else.
Visit with my family. I'll see the Bundle in a few weeks when I go to see her. Can't wait!!
Apply for a job.
Wash my car. Really. It's bad.
Read blogs. I have 837 blogs in my feed reader that have been ignored for the past few weeks.
Write blog posts. I've missed writing here.
Grade student essay. I'm sure they'll be happy.
Celebrate the submission, the revision, the defense, and the graduation. Lots of celebration going on in these parts.
Visit San Francisco (see applying for a job above).
Clean my house.
See San Francisco (since I once lived there, I want to visit the places I used to visit).
Get a haircut.
Buy another graduation present for myself, something not quite as expensive as the first present I bought myself. (hee hee; click the link and go to the last item)
Exercise-- yes, it's been a while --and I want to get back to it.

But for now, it's time for bed. I'm bone tired. Tomorrow starts a whole new chapter . . . ok, the new chapter will be planned tomorrow. That new chapter will actually begin . . . early November.

Cross posted at Parts-n-Pieces.

Quick shoutout

2008-09-25T07:26:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow DBC blogging-mates and readers! Trying to change my MIA status. I went off on a vacation to Pakistan and made it a more or less Internet-free month. Suffice it to say it was blissful. But now I'm back and determined to churn out the remaining 2.5 chapters. So another update might not be imminent but I just wanted to shout out and see how everyone's been doing. Cheers!

Defending Proposal Soon

2008-09-14T15:45:00.002-05:00

I have actual progress to report. Hurray! Spent this summer working page by page to fix a turgid dull repetetive draft of my proposal. Got the word back from my advisor a few days ago :

Your organization, writing, and conceptual framework are very clear. The proposal is in very good shape. I think you are ready to defend.

Shall I tattoo those words onto my forearm?

Good luck

2008-09-11T10:28:00.002-05:00

Just a quick good luck to all those English-types out there who are waiting on the job list to open tomorrow!

Fell off the wagon

2008-09-08T09:01:00.003-05:00

Or should I say "fell off the wagon and trampled by the horses"? This summer was unproductive. I literally did 5 days of work. My Husband has traveled for 2.5 months since mid-May, my daughter has been out of daycare for 4.5 weeks between a trip to the in-laws and 2 rounds of illness, and I have just been plain tired-out. I know I spend much of my energy worrying -"I need to finish to go back to work because we need more money", "I need to go back to work because 15 months at home with a baby has made me insane", "I need to finish so that I can enjoy my life" - along with keeping up the house and doing ALL the domestic work and being constantly reminded by my husband how much this endeavor of mine is costing. My mind is so cluttered with all this worry that I can't concentrate.

My Mother suggests putting my daughter in fulltime daycare and leaving the house to work. I agree, but that requires a new laptop for my programs (most of my analysis is MatLab modeling) and for my duaghter to be weaned from breastfeeding (yeah, I NEVER excepted to do that this long, but that is how it worked out). So that may not happen before her 18 month mark- November.

Yes, my husband nagging me is not helping. And you would think, with him being so intellegent, he wouldn't be so stupid as to add to my stress. And we have talked about it. He seems to have convienant amnesia about our conversations. And I know he carries stress too- his job has paid for everything for 5 years. Then add a baby.

Okay, vent and pity party over. I just need to adapt to less sleep for the next year or so- I have to get this work done sometime and I need to take advantage of my evenings. Hey, I can hack sleep depravation, I had a baby for God-sakes.

Summer Progress

2008-09-01T20:21:00.002-05:00

To my surprise working on my proposal for a minimum of 8 hrs per week, more many weeks, has paid off. I have a decent version of the proposal done. My committee chair is presently reviewing it. I am sure it needs more work, but it is no longer the quagmire it was a few months ago. It is actually readable, if you like reading dissertations! :)

If you keep at it you make progress. Like exercising, it is painful at times but if you are consistent and persistent you see results. Like dieting, it is sometimes very frustrating but if you just do it you eventually reach your goal.

See that tunnel? There is a faint light way down there at the end.....

The numbering system starts over (Day 30)

2008-09-01T16:48:00.003-05:00

As the post title says, I've started my dissertation clock again. I did not get the entire dissertation finished by the end of August -- and I knew I would probably not make that ambitious deadline -- so I'm starting over. This time around, though, I only have one chapter to write. This chapter is the "analysis" chapter, and I've probably got 30 pages of drafty notes ready to be shaped into something useful (and sort of linear). My advisor said to start planning for a November defense.

Damn. I had not written that before, and it sure looks (and feels) good. November. By November I'll be done with this. In the next 30 days, I will be done writing. The committee will read and offer suggestions for changes . . . and in November, I'll defend.

But today I have tried to write, but nothing much is coming. I'm worried ... but not about writing . . . about my daughter who now lives in Louisiana. I am reminded today that for most of us working through the process of a Ph.D. (course work and exams) then through the ordeal of a dissertation, we have lives that continue to spin and turn and change all around us, and sometimes we have to attend to that life. Sometimes, the dissertation has to wait.

2008-08-22T16:48:00.002-05:00

I don't post on this blog much, so I may seem like the strange guy in the corner who finally piped up and said something random. But like many of you, I'm trying to write a dissertation. And it's one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. I went up to campus today and saw some friends for the first time since last spring. As we discussed our summers and our dissertations (inextricably wed for each of us), I told him that what I found the most unnerving about writing a dissertation is that it doesn't seem to be making me a better writer. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse and worse, now struggling to write simple handouts for my FYC classes. The angst that comes with diss writing seems to sap my ability to write good prose.

Now, I'm kind of joking here. Not trying to have a pity party. And I know I might be preaching to the choir about the difficulty of dissertation writing. My point is that a couple years ago I thought of myself as a pretty good writer. When I was in coursework, I always did well on reading responses and seminar papers, and I cranked them out pretty quickly and easily. And I always got pretty good feedback. But that's not the reality of the diss. Even though I have a good director, who's always willing to give feedback (with a couple week turnaround time), it's such a different academic game. It's apples to oranges, I guess.

All that to say, I really identified with this recent post on the blog Waiterrant. (It's a pretty popular blogs and the blogger just published a book.) He's discussing the differences between blogging and book-writing, and I really think it's analogous to course work vs dissertation writing.

Here's an excerpt:

But I discovered early that blogging is nothing like writing a book. Writing a blog is like being the head guru in a commune of hippies. Writing a book, however, is like being a hermit in the desert. It's an isolating experience. And when you're an instant gratification junkie like me, losing the instantaneous feedback I had gotten used to while blogging was the hardest thing to deal with. Instead of writing something in an hour and putting it up for worldwide consumption, I was toiling at the keyboard for hours a day to satisfy an audience of one--my editor. My editor didn't get daily updates on what I had written and, while her periodic feedback was insightful and invaluable, the paucity of feedback compared to what I had gotten online caused me to go into approval withdrawal. "What happens if my editor doesn't like what I've been writing the past three months?" I wondered during one particularly crazed detox period. "What happens if she discovers I've been unconsciously typing 'All work and no play make jack a dull boy,' ten thousand times?"

In coursework, I got a lot of relatively instantaneous feedback. In the diss., I'm on my own, with all my self-doubt, trying to grind it out. Again, I'm really not trying to self-pity, but it has occurred to me strongly over the last six months that nothing really taught me to write a dissertation. And because of that, it's really hard.

But anyway, I got a chapter and a book article written this summer. Hopefully the next chapter won't take me as long. And hopefully I'll have a real job this time next year, whether I'm completely finished or not.

Billie

2008-08-20T20:03:00.000-05:00

Do it, Billie!

Chapter III is away

2008-08-19T13:51:00.000-05:00

[cross-posted at Wind Farm]

Just sent off Chapter Three. It's long. Forty-nine pages. It's bulky, too, it feels. I've read it three, four, five times now. For your reading pleasure, here are a couple excerpts:

From the introduction:
In Ways With Words Shirley Brice Heath issues one of the earliest, and most popular, definitions of Literacy Events. She says, “Those occasions in which talk revolves around a piece of writing have been termed literacy events” (386). Heath advanced and complicated the definition of literacy by including “talk around” literacy as an integral part (Heath’s definition of literacy events is used in later studies of literacy by such scholars as David Barton and Brian Street; they make few if any revisions to the definition of this term). She explains that “The child must know not only how to read but also how and when to talk about what he or someone else has read” (386). Literacy, since Heath, has become more inclusive. Though literacy is, technically, simply the production and comprehension of print, in practice literacy is more than just production and comprehension. This is what Heath in part argues in Ways with Words.

In this study Literacy Events is employed with the same denotation and connotations established by Heath. A literacy event is an event wherein a piece of writing is integral to peoples’ interactions. As a literacy scholar, it’s sometimes challenging for me to observe or even think of an interaction that isn’t at some point and in some way shaped by a piece of writing. I have limited my use of the term literacy event for occasions and interactions where a text or piece of writing is immediately present. As in the scene below, the script that Coach produces each day for orchestrating the team’s basketball practices – i.e. the practice schedule or practice plan – is an example of a literacy event. His hand-written notes dictate the types of drills and activities that will be performed along with the precise times at which they will be performed. Sometimes there are additional notations that further influence specific instructions and thus consequent activities.

This brings me to another term: Literacy Activities. Unlike Literacy Events and Literacy Practices (which I discuss momentarily), literacy activities doesn’t have a rich lineage. Literacy activities are generally understood to be – though rarely articulated as – the physical motor-movements required to produce or consume written words. This would include manipulating a pencil, typing on a keyboard, scanning a page with one’s eyes, flipping the page of a book, etc. Literacy activities also incorporate body postures and gestures. Literacy Activities is a term that helps focus attention on the particular. It is an extension of the “ecological approach” to the study of literacy espoused by David Barton (Barton 36 Literacy: An Introduction to the Ecology of Written Language). As Barton explains, “The point here is that in order to understand literacy it is important to examine particular events where reading and writing are used. Focusing on the particular is an integral part of an ecological approach; this is different from other approaches which place an emphasis on broad generalizations” (Barton 36). The ironic part of this passage is that though he claims a divergence from other more “broad generalizations” he himself does not explore a more specific vocabulary (other than “ecological approach”) for doing so. Barton proclaims the need to look at the particular, but he doesn’t offer a more particular term.

And the conclusion:
Zigzagging from surveillance to literacy activities to control to literacy practices to ethics of behavior to practice schedules makes for a complicated chapter. The complex realities and data that I experienced deserve a complex chapter. I think this chapter, with its four scenes and numerous interview excerpts, mirror well this reality. But in reflecting this reality back to you, the reader, I’ve tried to be clear and explicit about how this supports the argument that I think my data is trying to make. For the sake of further clarity, I want to repeat some of the highlights of this argument here.

First, as opposed to the top-down taxonomy implied by Street and Barton’s theories of situated and social literacies where social literacy practices determine literacy events and literacy activities of individuals, the literacy taxonomy that I have outlined is not linear and does not flow from top to bottom. That is, literacy practices do not always shape literacy events and literacy activities. In terms of a theory of practice, this same argument can be applied more generally as well: habitus does not always determine hexis. The structuring structures of a milieu (i.e. the habitus) can and is affected by individuals and activities. As we saw in the scenes above, small, commonplace acts accumulate and shape behaviors and determine practices, beliefs, values. Practices shape events just as habitus shapes hexis.

A second, much subtler argument is that literacy is habituated activity. In her April, 1986 College English article, “The Ecology of Writing,” Marilyn Cooper challenged the cognitive literacy paradigm and proposed that literacy is as much habituated activity as it is cognitive performance. Literacy, she argued, is a habit. Because literacy is a habit, how we discipline the behaviors and activities of students correlates to performance and success. The ubiquity of literacy events in daily activities – whether they are surveillance activities or otherwise – compels us to understand the relationship between activity-event-practice-ethics. Literacy is disciplined and habituated motor-activity. This is one of the understated arguments of this chapter that is further developed in the succeeding chapters.

Third, the role of surveillance is problematic, but has been found to be an effective method of training student-athletes in the domains of both athletics and academics. In his 2003 Education & Anthropology Quarterly article, “Panopticonics: The Control and Surveillance of Black Female Athletes in a Collegiate Athletic Program,” Kevin Foster argues that not only is the control and surveillance of the department and coaches a positive instrument for instilling “in black female athletes a model of womanhood whereby the come to expect and achieve academic and athletic success” (300). He goes on to propose that this model be applied throughout the athletic department and across the university to non-athletes. The article has some alarming revelations about the white, patriarchical system being imposed on this group of women. However, as Foster argues, the disciplining, control and surveillance have positive educational and psychological effects on these women: they “come to expect and achieve academic and athletic success.” The argument made by my data and articulated in this chapter is in the same vein as Foster’s proposal. In a nutshell, curriculum designers should consider incorporating some form of compulsory and surveilling study halls into the academic infrastructure of institutions.

End of Day #6: Racing to the (metaphoric) Finish Line

2008-08-17T23:05:00.001-05:00

Hey, folks-- No one is logging in and saying much. (That includes me.) What's everyone up to? How are you doing? Now that school is about to begin for most of us, how is that impacting your writing?

For me? Well, I'm getting there. Today has been day #6 to my countdown. I have two chapters and the appendices complete and approved (methodology and case studies). The appendices get to "count" because there is so much in them. :-) I have strong drafts of the introduction and the literature review. I have a weak draft of my "findings" chapter, and I have a few notes on a conclusion, but the conclusion is not going to be long at all (I may just wait on that). Tomorrow I plan to finish my edits to the intro and lit review, then I'll spend the rest of the week on the findings chapter. I'm not sure I'll make a Friday deadline to give the whole mess to my adviser, but I am sure going to try. If I can't do Friday, I can do Monday . . . giving myself the weekend.

I will continue, though, to strive to complete the vast majority of work before classes start on the 25th.

But you know, overall, this has been a really good experience. Of course I can moan and whine about how hard it's been, how my committee has all but disappeared on me, how no one has been there to hold my hand through the horror and trauma, but I'm not going to. Writing a dissertation isn't supposed to be easy; it's not supposed to be done via committee or group consensus (in that others tell you what to write and you write it). It is a solo effort, and it's hard work.

Because I have spent the past several weeks doing nothing but writing and thinking about my subject (pedagogy that supports underprepared student-athletes), I can tell you just about anything about student-athletes and their programs at Division I-A institutions. I can also tell you how exhausting it's been to write all day long. That surprises me. There are days that my entire body hurts after I've been writing all day . . . like it might hurt after running a marathon (I've never done that so I can only guess at the comparison); there are nights that I can barely read (see), my eyes are so tired. But I keep on. One word in front of the next. I will get finished.

OK, in the morning starts Day #5. Even though I'm not logging in here to write each day, I do peek in from time to time. I could use some "last push" vibes if you have any to spare.

Everyone else? Log in and tell us what's up with you. I miss hearing from everyone.

Sense of futility

2008-08-07T23:11:00.004-05:00

So this is my first official contributor post and what a way to begin (sorry). I was gone for half of July and it has completely screwed up the flow & schedule I had for myself. I hoped to jump back on the wagon today and now that the day is over I don't know where it all went. I miss being in an academic environment and the focus that it allows me to have on my project. I feel my brain has turned to mush and I feel unmotivated and unfocused. I'm four hours away from school and with finances the way they are, I wasn't able to keep the small room I was renting near school for the days that I spent there. Our public libraries leave lots to be desired, the closest university is an hour away, and generally I don't do well in coffee shops. I miss university libraries, I miss conversations with other university folks (other academics?) because even if we're not speaking the same language, the conversation gets my intellectual juices flowing. I need to figure out how to re-create my writing, thinking, and focus space here in my house. This is a house that needs desperate cleaning and major yard work. I need some time at the gym. Sometimes I wish I didn't work, sometimes I wish I worked more so that our financial situation would be more secure. I hope tomorrow will be a better day and I hope I will finally return to the draft of chapter 2. What do you all do to get yourself back on track and motivated when you're heart just can't get into it?

15 more days of dissertation hell to go

2008-08-07T21:24:00.000-05:00

When I took my comprehensive exams, I wrote almost 70 pages (double-spaced) in three days over my subject areas: critical pedagogy, literacy, and service-learning. (In my program, we took three five-hour exams, MWF, no notes, no prior knowledge of questions, no knowledge of the types of questions, and our reading lists contained about 100 items per subject.) At the end of each exam, I wasn't tired. I was excited, actually. I felt that I was able to produce very nice essays in a short amount of time. I felt smart. However, as the afternoon turned to evening, I felt so very tired. Drained, actually. Mentally exhausted.

I'm feeling that way again with the dissertation. In between tutorials and fire drills (no kidding), I'm writing. I've stopped reading, and I'm only writing. I don't think the writing is all that great, though. It's choppy and fragmented. But this is a draft, and I know I'll still have revisions to do when I'm finished with this draft. When. Yes, when I'm finished. I can see the light, as they say. I know that I'm coming in on being done with this dissertation, but this last push, this last hard push before school starts? It's wearing me down.

You know how you can have a word on the "tip of your tongue"? My dissertation rests there, on the tip of my tongue. I know what I want to write-- I know it in my body, I know it-- it's right on the tip of my . . . of my what? consciousness, abilities, finger tips, something? I see the end of this process because I see the entire scope of this work. I feel smart. Tired, but smart.

Cross-posted at Parts-n-Pieces.

Diss Data TagCrowd

2008-08-06T10:55:00.000-05:00

[Cross-posted at Wind Farm]

I've been playing around with TagCrowd quite a bit as I review and analyze my data. It's a fantastic tool that's helping me "hover above the data" (a [sage] recommendation of Eli's). Notice the happily coincidental part of the hovering advice and the tag cloud: "hover", "cloud." The idea is to step back from the data, depersonalize it. And so I employ the cloud (via TagCrowd). I've been playing with it all along, but now it feels like a legitimized research tool. Beautiful. I love it!

The tag cloud below is the visualization of all of the data that I currently have in Word Document format. Still I am missing about 200 or so pages of interview transcripts. As well, all of the photos and other cultural documents don't really transfer into TagCrowd.

There are a few potential, um, sticking points about employing TagCrowd as an analytic tool. First, I'm not entire certain of how it determines word frequency. For example, is "guy" and "guys" considered the same word? Either way it affects the frequency count. I assume that this is not the case. But I don't know for sure. Second, I'm struggling to determine which words to exclude from the visualization (there is a feature that allows you to make a list of words to exclude - nice!). So, for example, do I exclude "really" from the list? If so, why? Potentially, "really" or "pretty" signify something about the discourse of the guys as well as my fieldnoting. I'm not doing a discourse analysis, but still such decisions matter.

There are some major positives to using TagCrowd. First, it is a really cool way of presenting data in an alternative format. It's definitely non-traditional. Second, it offers a level of transparency to the analysis. It shows the word frequency and provides insight into the raw data. E.g. if I'm arguing that "Coach" played a major role in the literacy practices of the student-athletes you can look and see that "Coach" was one of the most frequently used terms (it doesn't come through in the cloud below b/c of some edits I made to the word list, but Coach was actually the most frequently appearing term throughout all of the data).

There are other positives and negatives. The positives, however, far outweigh the negatives. As a result, there will be a version of the below tag cloud appearing in my dissertation.

created at TagCrowd.com

Day 19: Writing Writing Writing

2008-08-05T10:02:00.005-05:00

Hi, all-- I said I would check in everyday and stay accountable with my progress. I haven't done that . . . I'm sorry . . . I know how much you all looked forward to my daily whine. :-) Seriously, though, I've been writing. And writing. And writing some more. I'm exhausted. My brain is refusing to think of new words, so I'm using the same old ones over and over. I might have been a tad ambitious about my deadline. I still have 19 days to go, and I need to finish the lit review, write the findings chapter, and edit the intro/conclusion. (Remember, this is a draft going to the committee, not the final project.) It's possible I could get it done. I'm still striving and pushing for the 8/22 deadline.

How's everyone else doing? The school year begins soon. How will this impact your writing?

2 Dissertating Challenges

2008-07-29T09:10:00.002-05:00

[Cross-posted on Learn To Live With It]

Since I'm still here :-), I wanted to share 2 more thoughts. The first is an overall challenge while dissertating. The second thought is specific to my empirical chapters but one can conceivably extend it to the rest of the dissertating experience.

1. The hardest thing, time and again, heck I'd say day in and day out is the ABCD rule. That is, Apply Butt to Chair and Dissertate. Even when there is momentum. Even when you finish a chapter. Even after a particularly good writing day. It takes every ounce of strength and willpower to sit down in front of your laptop/computer/what have you each time and click on that icon on the desktop that represents the document you're currently working on. I think the clicking of the document is very tough. Those seconds between moving your finger over the trackpad to the click to the opening of an in-progress document - worse still if you're starting a new document - that's just when I end up feeling the urge to flight. Once it's open I think I breathe more easy and feel like I can tackle this. A productive morning doesn't automatically translate into the desire to sit down and continue the same rhythm in the afternoon. I wonder why that is. I suspect because it's intimidating to stare at a blank screen not knowing how much you'll write today or if you'll write anything that's usable. The latter is the most difficult - when you know you're putting in the time and the output, although helpful in working through an argument, isn't going to end up in the category of "finished dissertation pages" can be rather frustrating. Personally, I need pin drop silence to write and process. So it means being sort of a recluse. Hmm not just sort of. Not that I have trouble being myself and I cherish my "me-time" I do crave social interactions. That I currently seem to be starving myself on that front might be why I'm feeling so worn out. But I also know that I have to be strong through this or it isn't getting done - not just by the deadline I have in mind but not at all. And I'll be damned if I have this stretch out a few months longer because I just don't have the mental or emotional energy to continue feeling as stagnant as dissertating can feel. [Nopes I'm not bitter but I am restless.]

2. I'm currently writing a chapter that is based on original field research. I have a lot more interviews than I can conceivably include. I've made peace with that. Of the ones I thought I'd include until last week, well let's just say it would be overkill if I included all of them. I've noticed that, on average, the analysis of each interview is ranging about 20 pages. If I include all 11, well you do the math. So I'm working on cutting down the number. And it's almost like asking a parent of more than one kid who their favorite child is. I have no magical formula how to decide which ones to include and which to exclude. It's not just about page length. I suspect they get redundant real quickly in terms of the overall argument. The minute details are fun but not critical to moving the argument along. To be honest, the practical side of me concurs with a serious editing of that list of 11 - because having fewer to analyze means the deadline becomes attainable. In this worn out state, that consideration is part of the calculation. Of course then I end up feeling guilty. So I review my analysis again and it also makes intellectual sense. The challenge here is not about overcoming the guilt - or at least it's not what I'm focusing on. I have figured out what to do, more or less, for this current chapter. It might mean ignoring 2 interviews that I was really excited about but could well be a stand-alone chapter on a sub-topic within the dissertation in terms of the empirical sites I'm looking at. That the interviews of these individuals are of retired military officers and I'd planned for 'the military' to be a separate chapter in my dissertation but dropped the idea since I didn't have enough interviews to do that because of access issues [long story that I really don't feel like revisiting right now]. However, I could change these into a spin-off piece in the form of a journal article so it's not like I won't work on them ever. Nonetheless, what's difficult is that you do so much work and so little makes it to the dissertation project that it feels akin to a major letdown. Again I understand that it's not like I could have found a magic shortcut along the way and what feels like meandering is just part of the process and how it works. Still, that it never figures in can be heart-breaking and gut-wrenching.

Enough ranting/blogging, now I must open the file for chapter 6. Wish me luck!

Greetings from Bionic-Woman

2008-07-29T08:58:00.003-05:00

Good Morning DBCers!

Bionic-Woman here. I want to thank Billie for inviting me to the party (read: dissertating hellaciousness) as a crew member.

I'm currently trying really really really hard to wrap up my Ph.D. in International Relations from ABD-land. I'm about to start year 7 when the 2008-2009 academic year begins. Prior to this, I was firmly entrenched in the humanities - communications and cultural studies - to be precise. My present social sciences avatar remains unwilling to let go of those roots. My research remains firmly focuses on identity and the ways in which social and political orders are negotiated discursively. In my dissertation, I'm exploring the same but looking at a particular international conflict (since I continue to cling to some measure of anonymity in the blogosphere I'm continuing to be somewhat nondescript here). It's an ethnomethodological study though which means I look at everyday life including interviews with actors and pop culture.

I keep hearing about the magical 6 weeks in which dissertators get their act together. I'm in week 5 of that cycle. What do I have to show for it? A prelude/preface and chapters 1-5. Chapters 6-8 remain.

In a magical world, this draft would be perfect. Far from it. But it'll be a working draft that can be edited into a version that I can actually defend. So I'll be here checking in - commiserating, celebrating, and ranting - through the remainder of my "hopefully magical 6 weeks journey" and the glorious moment until there is a successful dissertation defense.

Enough about me. How are you folks doing?

Day 30: (food metaphors)

2008-07-23T22:04:00.004-05:00

Hi, all. Just my daily checking in post. Today I added almost 4,000 words to my lit review. Most of that was supporting material, and I still have a lot of work to do to trim this monster down to something manageable. But that's part of my process. I do a brain dump all over my page and then go back and shift through. I think it was Anne Lamott who used the metaphor of "vomiting" all over the page. That visual works.

I like the metaphor of kneading bread dough. One adds all the ingredients and mixes. Then one kneads the dough. It then needs to rest (and rise). One kneads it again. Then it rests (and rises) again. And that process continues for some time until the dough is ready to be baked. In my kneading process, I take away info... then I might add a little something else, then I'll take it back out. It's all the process.

Maybe I should change my metaphor from baking and kneading bread to something else . . . making spaghetti sauce or something.

Ok, tomorrow starts day 29, and I'm already feeling a little panic. I can do this. The diss doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to be finished.

The Only Good Diss is a Done Diss

2008-07-22T19:08:00.006-05:00

Over the past week, a number of people left sayings like "The only good dissertation is a done dissertation" on my main blog. I'd like to continue the fun over here. Below, I will list those sayings that I know or have heard about completing the dissertation. Some of them are funny, but they are all encouraging. Do you have others to add to the list?

--------------------------------------------------------

The only good dissertation is a done dissertation.

Pass without Embarrassment

The dissertation is a rough draft for a book (if you want a book out of it).

The dissertation is a rough, rough, rough, rough draft of a book.

There are two kinds of dissertations: good ones and finished ones.

About the dissertation: don't get it right, get it written.

Go with a dissertation written not a dissertation planned.

When three chapters are completed, you know you can finish the diss.

What do they call a person who writes the year's worst dissertation that passes? Doctor.

Productivity

2008-07-22T00:42:00.002-05:00

Sounds like a lot of Boot Campers are being productive. Good for us!

Earlier today I submitted a draft of my second chapter. Rolling right along. For now...

I'm setting another target date for a draft of my third chapter: 31 August. It's an ambitious goal b/c of some traveling I'm doing in the coming 6 weeks (NYC, S. FL, and hopefully Denver for the DNC convention). Oh, and that pesky lil fall semester thing. But it's my goal.

Good luck to me and good luck to you, my fellow Campers!

Day 32 (and counting)

2008-07-21T21:11:00.002-05:00

Hi, again, all. Today I went back to work after having three weeks of vacation. ("Vacation," heh, a time that I was chained to my desk writing. It was so fun! Wish you'd been there!!!) Anyway, I very quickly remembered why it's taken me so long to get this dissertation finished. I didn't accomplish a whole lot today because, you know, well, work got in the way. I did manage to add about 1,000 words to my lit review after moving some text around, conflating some sections, and constructing a table comparing the top 25 football programs in 2007 with Princeton Review's top 25 academic schools in 2007. The point was to show how there is no overlap between the schools on these lists. But that seems rather obvious now, so I'll probably remove the table tomorrow.

I haven't done much tonight but piddle around on YouTube looking for Springsteen videos (what a time suck). :-) I'm now going to take a hard copy of my chapter and make some hand-written notes for tomorrow.

How's it going for all of you?

Hello

2008-07-21T16:00:00.002-05:00

Hello Everyone. I'm glad that such a space exists for us as we dissertate. I am writing on national and state poets laureate, their works, poetics, and community outreach/cultural value.

I've written a first draft of my prospectus and am revising because I still don't have a hard-hitting thesis that covers all chapters. I know everything I want to say; I just don't know how to position what I have to say in an argument.

I'm working through how to write everything about my diss before I've written it :).

The strategy I'm going to use tonight when I get home is to ask myself global question after question. Then I'll see which I should turn into an answer & then maybe I'll end up with a thesis.

Best to everyone's writing,

Toni

Day 33 (and counting)

2008-07-20T16:19:00.000-05:00

Hi, all. Just a quick check in. I have been writing all. damn. day. And I'm worn out. My lit review has 14,840 words as of this moment . . . but I write a lot, then I must pare it down .... and there's a lot of paring that has to happen with this work. However, the work is organized in the sections it needs to be in and about half of the information is in the order it needs to be in. So I feel good about that. I just need to blend and blend and blend (and organize the 2nd half). All that is the plate for tomorrow.

Tonight, I'm going to a baseball game. I'll probably take the text with me, though, and so some line editing.

34 Days and Counting

2008-07-19T22:05:00.000-05:00

Hi, all--

As many of you know, I had wanted to finish this summer and potentially graduate in August. Through an unfortunate series of events within my department, that's not going to happen (and I've known that for a while). So. A little change in plans. I met with my advisor a few days ago, we figured out what I need to do to finish. The work won't be the groundbreaking text I had desired -- that'll have to come later :-) -- but I can get it done. My date to have the completed dissertation to my chair is August 22nd. I'll then have to do some revisions or clarifications or whatever, but the bulk of the work will be done.

In order to meet this deadline, I'm having to ignore (for a while) some of the work I wanted to do in this dissertation. As I mentioned last week, I have an extensive research agenda based on this dissertation. My job now is to complete what I have. I'll turn it in. I'll make whatever changes I need to make. I'll defend early in the fall (my desire), and I'll graduate in December. The graduation is a formality -- and I really like the ceremony of earning a Ph.D. and the public recognition that comes with that event. I will, however, be a Ph.D. earlier than December.

In the next 34 days, I have to finish my lit review, write one chapter on my findings, and finish the intro/conclusion. The intro and conclusion will be short . . . and probably not as rich as I'd like them to be. But you know what? That's perfectly fine with me.

I'm going to post here everyday for the next 34 days just to keep myself accountable. You are welcome to comment or not . . . I just need a space to post my accomplishments. I know you'll be reading, and that will encourage me to work hard.

Another update and excerpt

2008-07-18T09:36:00.000-05:00

Hey folks! I feel like I'm doing pretty well with the diss writing. I think I may be able to send off another chapter draft by next week. The writing is a bit experimental in the sense that it's not "traditional" ethnography writing. And that makes me a bit nervous about how Eli, my diss chair, will react. Some of the "scenes" I'm writing feel better than others, but overall I'm *really* liking this method.

I thought I'd share another excerpt (but just a portion of it b/c it's so long) to participate in the sharing. And if anybody has any thoughts on the writing in general or on the title or the diagram in particular, I'm all ears.

[Cross posted in full at Wind Farm]

Here is another "scene" from the chapter I am currently composing. It's longer than I'd like, but in addition to providing a window into the lives of each of my subjects - which is my way of "introducing" my subjects - I want to show them in the contexts I observed them in. Though I did get to know some of my subjects well, I would never say we were "buddies." So part of me feels it would be misleading to describe them in such a way - i.e. with a focus on their personalities or their likes/dislikes, etc. My method of "introducing" the subjects tries to imitate Kathleen Stewart's "new ethnography." Because of my focus on physicality and materiality, this feels *right*. But I've said this before in previous posts. I've also mentioned my nervousness about submitting this chapter. But whatever.

There are approximately 13 scenes right now. The settings range from bball practice, to study halls, to classroom interactions, to meals in the cafeteria. As well, I've decided to incorporate scenes that focus on non-subjects to provide some insights into the characters that circulate through this ecology and who have a huge impact on what takes place. Some of those non-subjects include an informant, an administrator, Coach and the coaches, other students and at least one instructor. I'll compose two or three more and then revise the introduction to this chapter. At the moment there is no "analysis" of each scene. I prefer it that way for the time being. We'll see what Eli thinks...

Here, now, complete with a basic layout of the classroom, is the scene (the title of which I am not happy with):

Scene II: “Students and Classes”
04 October 07 AA in English 099

8:00 a.m. and still the researcher sits alone. He grabs his bag and exits the classroom to search the surrounding rooms. He has the class schedule for each of the participants, and he has meticulously charted them out, but maybe he made a mistake. As he walks out he runs into CC who is walking up the steps. Like a haggard St. Christopher without his walking stick, he wearily leans on the railing. CC is haggard, bent over at the waist and, with great effort, pulling himself up the railing one hand over the other. To his knees and both calves there are bags of ice Saran wrapped to his legs – 4 ice bags altogether. The team had 6:00 a.m. conditioning again today. CC is heading to English class he says, so the researcher walks with him, thinking maybe he shares this 099 English class, a basic writing course that precedes 101, with AA (even though his chart of schedules indicates otherwise). As they slowly amble towards the room CC, who will earn a 3.69 GPA this semester, laments, “This is retarded English. I don’t even know why I’m in it.” They approach the door and CC opens it. As he walks through the researcher sees that this isn’t the right class; he hasn’t received permission from this instructor to observe. “Oops,” he says, “wrong one. I’ll be back later.”

He continues his search by peering through the glass into the classrooms that surround the courtyard. Then Dr. X emerges from the elevator with books and materials in tote; she pulls a roller file – basically a plastic crate with wheels and a handle. Five minutes after the 8:00 class time the researcher follows the instructor into the room. At 8:05 AA is the first to arrive. He takes his seat in the front of the room in the second row in front of the lectern (AA is the green X in Fig. X.XX). Appearing harried but not necessarily rushed, the instructor walks into a room with two people – AA and the researcher. Referring to the missing students she exclaims, “This is unusual, very unusual.”

(Fig. X.XX. The green X is AA. The brown X is the researcher. The yellow rectangles represent computers. The red Xs are males. The purple Xs are females. The navy blue X at the front of the room is a SmartBoard. The aqua blue in the back is a wall of windows.)

AA is carrying a half-empty, blue Gatorade Fierce and his backpack, olive green with black straps. He’s wearing black slip-on sandals with white socks pulled up to his mid-calves and a white t-shirt and white gym shorts with red/black triangle design towards the outer knee on each side. His backpack remains on the table to his right throughout the class.

Almost officially offical

2008-07-15T21:09:00.000-05:00

I don't know when it's actually going to feel official, but I'm guessing when I finally get my diploma in the mail. But today I handed the final copies of my dissertation over to the graduate school for binding. So it's almost officially official, right?

There's a ton of nitpicky stuff that goes along with this whole process, post-defense. Revisions, formatting, having the formatting checked, fixing the formatting, printing copies on different kinds of paper, extra copies of the title page, extra copies of the abstract (one with your advisor's name and one without), a survey of earned doctorates, a microform agreement form, blah blah blah blah. Plus carrying a bazillion pounds of paper to the graduate school.

Anyway, it's done.

Now if only I could finish packing . . .

Diss Update (the lit review is hellish, I tell you)

2008-07-14T21:05:00.000-05:00

It's no big secret: Writing a dissertation is hard work. I've been convinced for quite some time.

Many of the sources I read about dissertation writing stated to write the literature review first, but did I listen? Did I heed their advice? Absolutely not. I was convinced that I knew my sources, their basic arguments, and I where my work fit within those arguments. Instead of the lit review, I felt the need to write the case studies, the methodology, a chapter on pedagogy, and I've roughed out the intro and conclusion. (I'm nearing the end of this project, the lit review and findings/analysis chapters are all that remain). But now that I'm constructing the literature review, I can see places I need to cut back. I have way too much information, and I'm drowning in it. Constructing the literature review is showing me just how much information I'm working with, and as I mentioned on Twitter more that once today, it's kicking my ass. As a graduate student, I never constructed a literature review. (Shocking, I know!) I've constructed plenty of very extensive Annotated Bibliographies, but never the lit review. So now I struggle.

I spent the day constructing the mind-map below (constructed with Mindjet MindManager Pro 7, damn I love this program) that contains four of the six areas I need to review, and it's within these areas I'll cut back as I don't need another 100-page chapter). The graphic image below is too small to read, but each "arm" is a subject area of the dissertation (literacy, basic writing, critical pedagogy, athletics/athletes, etc.), the major theorists of that subject, what they believe or don't believe about the specific subject under question. The interesting part will be to see how these areas overlap.

With all this trimming, I now have a research agenda for the next several ... months (years, decades?). This is also a very good thing.

Cross posted at Parts-n-Pieces.

Chapter Excerpt - New Ethnography

2008-07-12T13:07:00.000-05:00

[Cross-posted at Wind Farm]

Many of you know (and have commented on) the New Ethnography method of writing that I've played with before and before. It's modeled after Kathleen Stewart's Ordinary Affects. I've only sort of consulted/informed my adviser about the approach I've settled on for describing the subjects and some select scenes.

There are a number or reasons I'm drawn to this method of writing. Though I'm not particularly great at it, the method nonetheless allows me to share data-in-context. I like this. As well, these scenes provide additional points of reference that I will allude to/cite when I get to my Themes Chapter. This method also makes me feel like I'm making my study, and the write-up of my study, more transparent. I'm not sure how well it's going to work, and I've been strongly encouraged NOT to try to get all experimental with the dissertation ("Just get it done! Here is not the place to push boundaries!"). But I was struggling to find my way into this chapter and this is the method, the approach, that has created a flow for me. All other invention strategies were stalling.

Each short piece is a relatively complete scene in and of itself. More accurately, each scene is an excerpt, a moment plucked from the larger context of year in the field, that (tries to) captures some characteristics of the subjects, shows bodies in motion or bodies interacting with/engaging materials. There is no discussion of the scene or analysis of it. Part of the draw of this approach is that the reader can develop her own analysis. You see the scene. You draw develop your own impressions. I do the work of pointing out the themes and describing my coding at another point. Here is one of the excerpts. Hopefully the scene is self-explanatory.

“Unspoken words, Loud gestures”

[XX at 19 October 07 practice]:

A “shell” drill is a basketball simulation drill that teaches team defensive positioning. It’s an extremely useful teaching tool for habituating player placement for guarding opposing teams. At the beginning of the season it’s a drill that Coach uses to teach the basketball basics of team defense.

Official practice began just over a week ago and they’ve already had well over a dozen practices. The coaching staff has positioned themselves in a triangle formation on the court and around the players. AA is on the baseline. BB is on the sideline. And Coach is up top near half court. At any given moment each of them is within five-ten feet of at least four players. Their positioning allows them to intercede rapidly and within the context of the action; their positioning allows them to correct errors almost immediately as they are happening and provide instant feedback. The team is in the midst of a 4-on-4 defensive shell drill that they have repeated approximately 25 times at this point. The ball is being thrown from one side of the court to the other. The players are quickly reacting and jumping to their appropriate position. Everybody but XX, that is. Naturally slow afoot, the big man’s reaction times are consistently slower than his teammates. However, for this drill he’s not just slow; he’s out of place. The team has been bombarded with a lot of information and numerous drills, but XX is the only player who is not catching on to the principals Coach is trying to teach with this drill.

All three coaches immediately spot the error of XX’s movements. As the ball is being passed around up top, AA, who is on the baseline, takes his hands off his knees, rises from his umpire-like stance, straightens his posture and begins to move towards XX. He begins an attempt to stop the action; he’s about to instruct XX. Before AA can intercede, Coach sees AA. He throws his arms in the air and waves them – elbows locked, fingers spread, palms facing AA. At an unusually low decibel level Coach says, “Let it go. Let him go.” Coach turns his back slightly and hangs his head as he subtly shakes it back and forth. AA inches off the court. Play continues. XX remains lost in his movements. He is a walk-on player and time is precious. They finish the drill and Coach consults the practice schedule that is folded over his gym shorts. Next drill.

Hey to Fellow Dissertation Writers

2008-07-06T10:04:00.000-05:00

I'm posting as jerry'sdaughter, in my father's memory. He was a Ph.D. sociologist from an immigrant, blue collar New York City family. A mid-life epiphany lead me to enroll in a doctoral program. Since 2001, while continuing to work full-time and supporting my two sons' emergence into young adulthood, I have been a doc student. Now I have made it to candidate level and am making my way through a Lord of the Rings-like quest to complete my proposal.

I totally love my topic, the shining light that is guiding me through the caves, past the monsters, etc. That topic is child welfare workers' experiences in working with infants and toddlers.

Why this topic?

1. Child abuse and neglect is a serious social problem affecting perhaps 3x as many children as official federal data indicates, and maybe more. For example a recent survey of adults found 46% reporting some form of childhood abuse or neglect. This was a U. of Georgia study, summarized here: www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/109087.php
2. Infants and toddlers are disproportionately found among the victims of child abuse/neglect and account for over 3/4 of abuse related deaths. See federal data at http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/index.htm Abuse and neglect in the early years can have immediate and long-term impacts, including emotional, physical and financial costs. These impacts are felt at the individual, family, community and societal levels. See /25/08
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/about_us/media_releases/pcaa_pew_economic_impact_study_final.pdf

My mixed-methods study will used quantitative methods to understand what child welfare workers serving babies know about infants and toddlers and qualitative methods to understand what it's like to for child welfare workers to have such young children in their caseloads. The overall goal is to gather information that will help those of us in the infant-family world to offer relevant professional development to child welfare workers that can improve services to infants and toddlers in the child welfare system.

I started my career as a mental health counselor. So many of my clients had childhood histories of abuse or neglect. This was true whether they came from high or low income backgrounds and whether I saw them in my private practice or at a community mental health clinic. At the time I was the young mother of a 3 and 1 year old. I thought about how each of the adults I saw in therapy had once been a dependent, vulnerable young infant, full of all the hope and promise with which every baby enters this world. I decided that my career would be about helping families get off to a good start so that parents and their babies could grow to their fullest potential. Yes - the liberal, idealist let's build a better world mentality. It still drives me!

Onward to my revision of chapter 2 of my dissertation. Drop by my blog if you have time and let me know what you're working on! http://onmywaytophd.blogspot.com/

To coffee or not to coffee?

2008-07-04T04:38:00.001-05:00

It's annoying to always having some thought interrupting my writing. I find I can deal with ear worms, my flatmate's cooking fumes in the kitchen and the crying baby in the flat next door. My manic habit of watching people at the bus stop that is visible from my window has even turned productive, in the sense that a few seconds break from the laptop screen sometimes rewards me with the idea I need to link two paragraphs. What I can't deal with is my constant bodily wants. I need coffee, tea, water, the toilet, a biscuit... this silly everyday life things break the dissertation-mode train of thoughts. Soon I find I'm more in the Homer Simpson-mode, wiping out my flatmate's crumbs and reading joke of the day websites. Today's is funny for its simplicity -- (Q: How many blonde jokes are there? A: One. The rest are all true stories.) -- but that just helps to stray me further away from the diss-mode. The coffee I just made is getting cold and my teeth feel dirty, soon the urge to brush them will put me back on my feet. How do you guys manage the silliness of routine?

First Chapter submitted!!

2008-07-03T09:24:00.000-05:00

[Cross posted at Wind Farm]

Yesterday at approximately 6:44 p.m. I submitted my first dissertation chapter! It's a draft, obviously, but it's a completed chapter draft and it is in the hands of Eli, my director. This first submission is my Methodology chapter. Below I'll paste a long excerpt from the beginning to give you a taste.

About three or four weeks ago I had started composing a chapter on my Photo Literacy Logs (PLL). That was before Eli and I had a chance to talk about some things. During the course of our phone conversation we discussed my RSA paper and I told him that I decided to start my writing by building from that. Eli did some hoeing and humming and suggested that I start by describing my data collection process - the methodology - while it was still fresh in my mind. I had just come from the field site and it would be easier to try to write about being in the field sooner rather than later in the writing process. Plus it's an easy way into the writing process. Normally, because I'm a stubborn ass, I don't concede so easily to some of Eli's suggestions. I don't know why. I'm just a stubborn a-hole. J/k.

The strategy we decided to go with was to start with the methodology chapter and then move into writing about the subjects (which I'll start today). We didn't really strategize beyond that point, but my feeling is that writing about the subjects - especially the three "case subjects" - will open up into a discussion of, coding of, analysis of the data. And, if perchance things don't progress this way, from here it won't be so hard to delve into my a chapter (or chapters) on the themes.

Then the structure for the dissertation that is evolving in my mind goes something like this:
Methodology
Subjects
Themes
Application/Theory

At present there is not lit review. At present there are only four chapters. However, the Themes chapter is expected to be pretty long. Double, I imagine, my Methodology chapter (which was 47 double spaced pages).

So that's where I'm at (and you all probably thought I was just making ObamaLlamas! Ha! Yeah right!). I'll leave you with a bit from the Methodology chapter. It's approximately three double spaced pages. [Disclaimer: there are a few things in this intro that I don't particularly like - e.g. the second paragraph that starts with "sterile, scientific presentation" - and such things will be revised; but they're there for a reason; right now that reason is place-holder.]

[The excerpt from this first chapter is posted over at Wind Farm.]

Joining in

2008-07-02T07:57:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. I came across this Blog while searching, in desparation, for information on NOT dying while completing a dissertation. I am glad that this exists, as I really need the support.

I started my D.Sc. in Aersopace Egineering in Sept 2003. I was very lucky to get all my coursework done and my qualifying exams completed by May 2006- I even took extra classes in math and physics, and had a COOP that I did full and part time from May 2005 through May 2007. But, life has caught up with me. I had a daughter in May 2007, and have spent the past year really focused on her, and and therefore have suffered complete brain drain. it feels like I have forgotten EVERYTHING I ever learned. So now it is time to either do it or quit it. And it seems just paralyzing.

Luckily my advisor has been understanding, so the last year I have beasically been off the hook. But that is at an end. And my COOP is allowing me to be on Leave without Pay to finish the dissertation, then I will basically (90% sure) have a job waiting when I am done (or able to verify substantially complete). So I am in the stage of "get off my butt". And with the economy the way it is, I can't afford to not work for more than about another 1.5 years (I think my husband's patience is starting to wear a little thin...).

I am trying to motivate myself and it's been very hard. There are a million other things to do with my daugther and around the house, but I don't want to fail this. I guess I am just looking for a place where I am not alone, some resources on planning out and structuring my research, and just some "been there, done that" encouragement.

Thanks all,
Kathleen

Streaming tunes inside my head

2008-06-25T02:16:00.001-05:00

This is more a request for advice than a contribution. I'm constantly distracted by the buzzing of all sorts of tunes inside my head: “I just wanna feel/real love feel the home that I live in/ cos I got too much life/ running through my veins/ going to waste”. This was this morning's song and even though I like(d) it I now find it annoying; it gets worse when the tune is unpleasant. I've somewhere read a suggestion to write down distracting thoughts as a way to "flush them out" of your head but what do you do when the tunes come streaming into you one after the other? You can't write them down all, can you? Otherwise you would end up memorizing them and condemning yourself to humming them permanently. I know, I score above average on ADHD but it still is manageable, plus I don't have time to follow any special training, let alone going with a shrink (you would definitely need to be very wealthy for that in London).

Ok, it's 8:23 GT, I've been up for 1:30 hours already and haven't moved a finger to get the diss going.

Transcription service-- update

2008-06-24T22:31:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, I mentioned that I decided to bust out the credit card and pay to have 4.5 hours of audio transcribed by a service. Now that I've gotten all the files back (the audio was from three separate 1.5 hour group discussions) and have had time to check the accuracy of the transcriptions, I'm really happy that I opted for this.

Details:

I used escriptionist.com. Their rates seemed competitive. I had to pay $3.00/min (the highest per minute rate) because the discussion sessions each had more than three participants. (Lower rates available for smaller sessions.) My total bill ended up being about $700 (if you're doing the math at home, note that I didn't have to pay for the minutes during which I played a video for the group). That sum hurts to look at all at once, but I was seriously avoiding doing that work myself. Now it's done, and I'm moving forward. Worth it.

Service was quick and friendly. The initial contact is by phone (I left my phone number at the website) to make sure that both parties are clear on the transaction. Then, I received an email with instructions on how to upload the mp3s via FTP (if you don't understand FTP-- like me-- then let me assure you it was really easy).

Transcribing took 3-5 business days. I opted to have the speakers identified separately (Female 1, Male 2, Male 3, etc). This identification wasn't always perfect, but it was right about 85% of the time.

The transcripts were very accurate. I had to adjust a couple of words per page. The transcripts were weakest when several people were speaking at once, but this is hardly a surprise.

I'd highly recommend this to anyone who is sitting on some audio and finding every reason possible to not transcribe it herself.

Cross posted at Intent/effect.

Starting from scratch

2008-06-20T14:26:00.000-05:00

Indeed, as bionic-woman wrote, Billie's plan of work sounds like it's at the wrapping up stage, and considering her manifest dedication I'm sure the 75-day deadline is highly feasible.

For me, finishing the PhD this year is a life or death question, at least financially, which is why I must submit by October 20 hoping to have my Viva early in December. So far I've completed my data analysis (of structured interviews, family discussion sessions and diaries), and have written four out of seven chapters. My problem is I just can't seem to be able to put together a literature review. I have written several dozens of pages already but when I re-read they all seem rubbish, too disorganised for my taste. It's getting worse by the minute because I've come to my closed chapters and they look like they need to be re-written too. Just an example: My “diss” working title at the moment is "Viewing globalization in transnational, Mexican-American spaces". Theories of transnationalism are central to my argument and I have explained them in detail in the overview of Mexicans in the U.S. There is stuff there which must be in the literature review, but doing this means parts of the chapter on Mexicans will be redundant. This makes me think the stuff about Mexicans must be altogether in the literature review instead of being part of a single chapter. But if I do this, then the whole structure of the “diss” would need to change.

Well, I've learned in the last three years that what happens to me is nothing special and that everyone pursuing a PhD goes through a very similar process. The thing is that I've been wasting too much time from the beginning starting from scratch whenever I find the organization of a chapter is all over the place, or when I feel I need to take a different theoretical or ideological approach. I'd very much appreciate to have your thoughts.

Introducing myself

2008-06-20T13:15:00.000-05:00

Hello all,

My name is Gabriel. I'm a Mexican London-based 34 year old. I'm in the third year of my doctoral programme and my scholarship funding ends in September. In the beginning I thought it would all be nice and easy. I was a professional journalist, ink flowed from my fingers and I could joggle deadlines with my eyes wide shut. Right now I'm in despair. My PhD is based on fieldwork that investigated the television news consumption of Mexicans in Los Angeles. My English is not excellent but my writing keeps afloat. My problem has to do with deep anxiety provoked by the sensation that the clock is ticking, that I will soon have to be working to make ends meet and that in these last three years I've been doing nothing but writing aimlessly and being a high-maintenance parasite. I put some blame on my director of studies, who ignored mr the first two and a half years and whose new found comittment to my project consists on printing what I email to him and spell-checking it.

Anyway, so much for my introduction, I'll try to post something that's less emotional, and hopefully, more productive.

Mojo Received

2008-06-18T22:01:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to thank you all for the good vibes and mojo. Must have worked, cuz I'm Dr. Abby now. Woo-hoo!

Power of positive thinking

2008-06-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

Hi all. Just looking for some good mojo to be sent my way tomorrow around 11. Update to follow.

Touching the Diss EVERYDAY

2008-06-12T17:59:00.001-05:00

Hi, all-- I'm in Daytona Beach and the AP Language Exam reading week. I'm striving to "touch the diss" every single day, but reading high school AP exams is kinda exhausting. No excuses there, though . . . . but I am working at the dissertation. Just not working very quickly. :-) How's everyone doing?

New Deadline

2008-06-08T11:12:00.000-05:00

Hi, all--

After all the good vibes and good news last week, I have a deadline now that I need to maintain (it was a soft deadline before, now it's firm). I need to have the diss finished by mid-August. I might not defend until September, and that's OK. I need to have it turned in by mid-August. That gives me two months. I have about 240 finished pages that are fairly polished, I need to flesh out about another 100 (spread over three chapters) in order to finish the whole project. I have all my data, I've more-or-less outlined the remaining chapters, and I'm no longer at a stage where I care much about it being the best piece of scholarship ever. (I don't want it to be laughable, but it doesn't have to be perfect.)

So, I have 75 days (the week before classes begin) to get this done. And I think this is completely doable.

Good Vibes Request

2008-06-06T09:44:00.000-05:00

UPDATED POST:

Trapeze Artists and Life Changes: The last time I was thinking about a significant life change, a friend told me to think about trapeze artists. The trapeze artist, he said, has to be willing to let go of the trapeze she's on in order to catch the next one coming her way. In other words, she can't hold on to one while waiting on the other. She has to be willing to free fall for a few seconds before that next trapeze comes to her. How scary that thought was at the time. How scary it is again today. Yet, I'm willing to let go of the trapeze to catch the next one, to catch that next segment of my life. I'm ready today.

Thanks for the good vibes, folks. I felt' em, I did. :-)

I'm going to be a bit cryptic here, because I am not anonymous on this (or any other) blog. But I let go of the trapeze (metaphorically speaking) earlier today by turning away from what had become a very difficult situation. In letting go of the trapeze I was taking a risk that the next trapeze wasn't going to be available. But I was wrong. It was. The person I spoke with (this person has some position), was excited about the possibilities I proposed, possibilities that could benefit this department and me. Nothing is formalized yet, but it looks good. I'll say more as I know more, but thanks you guys. You rock!

Writing of a Different Kind

2008-06-02T09:35:00.000-05:00

Hi, boot campers. I haven't written on the dissertation in a few days, but I'm finding that when I can't look at the diss any longer, I move to something else, something equally as important but different, and I work on that. I can still feel productive. This new work may not be as immediate as the dissertation, but it is no less important as I move toward the job market stage: a publishable article, job market materials, and a new/improved teaching portfolio.

These artifacts take time, and at least for me, they take a lot of time. While I think I can write just fine, I am a terrible typist. I am constantly dropping words or misspelling something and I just can't see that need for correction when I review the work (if you read my main blog, you know exactly what I'm talking about here!). While on the blog, I don't much care if I have mistyped something, on job materials or in the teaching portfolio, I have to care. But aside from little typos, just the constructing of the materials takes time. A lot of time.

I have constructed a list of the things I need (updated CV, syllabi, statement of teaching philosophy, etc), and as I have some time, I work on ONE of these items. When it's done and filed away (electronically), I can move on to the next item. I don't have time to work on the whole thing at one time . . . but little by little ("bird by bird"), I can get this work done, too.

Do you guys have any hints or tricks about the fastest, most accurate, best way of constructing these materials?

Did you publish (or write) today?

2008-05-28T17:43:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, a friend of mine sent me a link to an article that appeared in that day's Chronicle of Higher Education. The article, by Rachel Toor, "Did You Publish Today?" reminded me of myself. It also reminded me of you.

The Chronicle's work is protected, so unless you have a subscription, you might not be able to access the article. If you have difficulty, let me know and I can email you a copy that I downloaded.

The article has some interesting points, though. We can't just sit and write dissertations (in our cases) 8-hours a day . . . fingers moving across the keyboards, brilliant thoughts pouring forth effortlessly. OK, maybe you can. I can't. The article goes into some detail about how much work goes into writing: research, organizing, cleaning desk space, . . . . there are so many things that are important to the process but they cannot be called "writing."

I'm often discouraged that I'm not producing text faster than I am. But there is still coding to do (in some cases), a little transcription still, some statistical preparation, and today? Today I scanned documents, and that activity took almost all day. Yet it is important work. It is work that is related directly to the dissertation, but that work might yield a paragraph of text, or, if I'm lucky, a full page.

But that's the nature of the work.

Take a look at the article by Toors. You'll be glad you did. And you can count it toward dissertation writing. :-)

Endurance: The Marathon Metaphor

2008-05-27T10:20:00.000-05:00

Writing a dissertation has got to be about one of the most demoralizing (yet invigorating) experiences we'll ever endure. It's hard, hard, hard work. "Endure" is a good word. It's not as if the work is so horrible that it must be "endured" (the negative connotation), but completing a Ph.D. is a test in endurance . . . a marathon of sorts (yes, a tired metaphor, but I'm tired). :-)

One cannot complete a marathon in just a few minutes . . . for even the fastest runners, the most insanely in-shape individuals in the world, it takes hours. Not everyone who attempts to run a marathon can run it; some walk, some don't finish. However, if we keep planting one foot in the front of the other, keep moving forward, we'll eventually finish that marathon. We may not run the race in record time, and we may have to walk, crawl, or stumble to the finish line. But we'll finish. At the end, those marathon medals look the same for everyone.

In a similar way, writing a dissertation is something that can't be accomplished in just a few weeks. For many of us, depending upon other responsibilities and other factors, completing a dissertation takes a year . . . or two . . . or three. If we keep writing one page after another page, eventually we'll get it done. We may mope and cry and wail on the way, but we'll get there . . . running, walking, stumbling. We'll get there. That ribbon at the end? That Ph.D.? It's the same for us all . . . no matter how quickly (or not) we got to the end.

A little news

2008-05-21T21:44:00.000-05:00

I'm sure Abby will chime in on this herself, but I like to be a cheerleader. Abby submitted her diss to her committee today. I saw her in the English office, where she was copying, hole-punching, and organizing six giant stacks of paper. She's been working really hard (and writing some brilliant stuff), so it must feel good to have it out the door.

Yay, Abby!

The Case Study Chapter

2008-05-20T16:47:00.000-05:00

I hate the case study chapter.

I can't seem to leave it alone. I tweak it. I revise it. I clarify it. I agonize over it. I edit it. I want to burn it. However, today I added 1,007 words to the already massive 28,508 (yes, I have one chapter that now has just under 30,000 words). That equates to 115 pages. One chapter. One long-ass chapter that I hate. One long-ass chapter that I hate that is as long as my Master's Thesis and is as long (or longer) than some dissertations I've read (not those in the humanities, but still).

And I'm still not done with it.

In reading back over it (and over it and over it and over it), I realized today that the last case study subject is not quite as developed as the other two. I do need to (eventually) move back to "Eric" and be as fair and equal to his work as I was with "Sean" and "D'Ante."

But later. I have got to look at something other than these blasted pages.

Transcriptions

2008-05-20T13:28:00.000-05:00

Just a question to both dissertators using transcriptionists: do the folks you use (or are going to use) keep the "flavor" of the speakers' language (slang, poor grammar, stops, starts, vocal utterances [um, ah, whatever]), or do they modify it to be "correct" (as the transcriptionst deems correct)?

One more day

2008-05-20T10:41:00.000-05:00

So this whole thing is due tomorrow. Tomorrow! I'm still shocked at that. There was a part of me, probably is still a part of me, that didn't think this thing would ever be done. I just imagined myself writing it, never really having it written. The weirder thing is that I can't really remember writing it. I remember revising, but the first drafts are all a blur. Strange. My sisters say that they can remember that childbirth was painful, but they can't remember the specifics of it. Back surgery was like that for me, too. As was the ruptured disc itself. I know I was in a lot of pain, but I can't remember the specifics of it.

That's how this dissertation feels. I've got the general feel, but I've lost the specifics of writing it.

Anyway, it's down to the wire. Today I need to revise my conclusion, which I'll have almost done in a half an hour. I have to skim an article that one of my committee members is sending me -- it won't take me long -- so I can incorporate it into the conclusion.

Then I need to revise chapter 3 again (it's the bane of my existence, that chapter). Then copyedit them both. Then finish fixing my works cited page. I'd like to get all of that done today.

Then tomorrow I'll format, print, and distribute.

crazy.

In the works

2008-05-19T22:07:00.000-05:00

I took some comfort in Chris' recent rant about transcribing-- a misery loves company sort of thing. It triggered me to look into transcribing services. I contacted one company today and sent out the first of three 90-minute group conversations. Within five days, I should have a transcript in my inbox. I'll let you know how it looks.

I hope it's good, because I really can't spare the time or the patience of transcribing these myself. I can spare the space on the credit card.

a lot of me

2008-05-18T17:14:00.000-05:00

I know you've been hearing a lot from me lately, but the dissertation is, as you might imagine, pretty much the only thing I'm doing. So I think about this blog quite a bit.

Right now I'm leaving the grad carrels to try to find a poem that I want to use in my conclusion. My conclusion, by the way, is insane. My chair will most likely hate it. It's all weird and personal and borderline new-agey. it's not what I thought I would write. but at least right now, it's all I have. and maybe all I seem capable of.

Here's my advice: if you can avoid having to write anything new in the few days before your dissertation is due, avoid it. My brain is so foggy and weird right now. It's like synapses are misfiring, hitting all the wrong stuff. But I'll finish this weirdo conclusion tonight, then copyedit chapter 4. My chair has my chapter 3 revision now (that's my weakest link, chapter 3) and my intro revision and I'll maybe need to do a little more revision on both of those. I'd like to be done with all of that tomorrow night so that I can use Tuesday for formatting, fixing my works cited, and such. Then printing and distributing on Wednesday.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

It may be a train.

Unanticipated Struggle

2008-05-16T18:59:00.000-05:00

I always figured dissertation writing would be hard. It is. And I figured, for me -- the consummate procrastinator -- it would come down to the wire. It has. What I didn't anticipate is the problem I'm having with repetition. I mean, in 200+ pages, how many different ways are there to say offers, provides, argues, asks, holds, believes, moves, strategies, work, works, works toward, ways, ways in which, this is not to say, i do not mean to imply, notes, says, and then? Honestly, this is a struggle I did not anticipate.

Friday and 301(+) words

2008-05-16T08:32:00.000-05:00

OK, This week -- my first week of summer "vacation"(*) -- I've spent probably 6 concentrated hours a day devoted to writing the dissertation. Know how many words I've written? 301. In about 20 hours.

301.

If word court was the only thing I measured, I'd be depressed, deeply and sadly depressed. But word count isn't the only thing. I've been revising the two chapters my advisor returned to me with those small five comments that ultimately encouraged some revision that has taken a week to flesh out and make clear. But that's OK. The work needed to be done. Those chapters are now done -- as far as I can tell. (**) I have also been outlining the next chapter (based on the case studies that are now finished).

Now, I'm onto the next major chapter-- findings and analysis-- the outline I've been working on.

(*) My "vacation" is that I don't teach in the summer, but I work in a Writing Center, 8:00 to 5:00 every day . . .

(**) Do any of you have the experience of reading back over your work -- work that you and your advisor thinks is polished -- and finding stupid typos? I'm finding them all over the place. I type "as" instead of "at," for example. Chris will be paying for a transcriptionist. I'll be paying for a proofreader.

ACK!

2008-05-14T14:35:00.000-05:00

It is due in one week.

ONE WEEK!

(she exclaims, frantically waving her hands in front of her in a Homer Simpson sort of way)

Transcribing: Holy S!*t

2008-05-13T14:19:00.000-05:00

Transcribing interviews is the biggest pain in the ass EVER!!! It takes sooo l o n g. Ugh. That's it. I'm done. I've done this crap before. I'm doing it now. No more. I'm gonna finish the interview I'm working on now and maybe one more. Then I'm paying somebody. I don't care if it costs me $500. Even if it costs me $750 it would be worth it. The time it would take me to do 10, 20, 30 hours of interviews is measured in weeks. I can't afford to be transcribing for weeks. I'll set a dollar amount that I'm willing to pay. Then...

I'll be sending interviews somewhere.

a wish

2008-05-12T20:20:00.001-05:00

If somebody could just wake me when this was all over, that would be great. Thanks.

Feedback Received, All Missions Go!

2008-05-12T08:19:00.000-05:00

Hi, campers--

I received feedback from diss advisor yesterday -- it took a long time, but the changes he suggested were very thoughtful, but they are minimal (maybe five comments over 150 pages).* Now, I must move forward with the meat of the work-- the findings and analysis chapter. I've been outlining this chapter as I went back through my data the past few weeks and looked for implicit arguments I need to now make explicit.

The full-time aspect of my job begins today (not that I didn't work full-time before, but I had more control of when I spent my time). Today, I work an 8-5 job sitting behind a desk waiting for students to come by for tutoring. It's not a lot of fun. However, with this time that I have to be here and since I have little else to do when I'm here, I will focus on this dissertation. Maybe August is a realistic possibility now.

(*) Should I be worried about this?

TWO WEEKS!

2008-05-07T15:44:00.000-05:00

TWO WEEKS! My dissertation is due in TWO WEEKS!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm panicking.

My chair insisted I take a day off, so I did. But it's back to serious work tomorrow. I need to revise the other 2/3 of my rhetorical listening chapter by Friday, Saturday at the latest So it's going to be all grad carrels all the time.

I'll keep you updated. How's everyone else doing?

Chapter 4 revision

2008-05-02T10:33:00.000-05:00

I finished the revision of chapter 4 this morning. I was planning to have it done yesterday evening but didn't quite get there. I needed one more hour. So it's done and sent to both my dissertation writing group and my chair. The first half seems okay to me. The second half is still a little messy.

I'm going to take a break, wrangle some lunch, and then start reading the disaster that is chapter 3. I'll try to formulate a revision strategy for that chapter this afternoon.

How's everyone else doing? Seems pretty quiet on the DBC front.

The stresses of waiting

2008-05-01T13:27:00.000-05:00

Hi all. So my chair (who lives in a different state) has had my revised first two chapters for about a week now. She told me that she would get back to me on Monday about the first chapter (my lit review).

As of this morning, I still hadn't heard from her.

Now, she has a baby, a pretty old dog, and it's the end of her semester. these all seem like valid reasons for not finishing my chapters. but, in my dissertation-induced insanity, I decided that the chapters are SO BAD that she couldn't figure out what to say to me. That it was taking her MUCH longer than she had anticipated because of all of the very long comments she had to write.

I have literally been breaking out in hives (something I do when I'm stressed. Fun.). So I finally emailed her today telling her that I didn't need the comments -- I'm working on chapter 3 next -- but that I really needed her to tell me whether or not the first chapter was total crap and needed overhaul.

Happily, it doesn't (need major overhaul). she read it today and it's in good shape. There are nitpicky things throughout--clarifications, fleshing out, rewordings--and one major thing I need to do (write a few new pages on feminist pedagogy), but all of it can, i think, be done in a day.

Whew.

I'm trying to finish the revision of chapter 4 today. It might take me until tomorrow morning, but I think it's possible to get it done today. We'll see. I'm here until 6 today, with one 1/2 hour coffee break in about an hour. Cuz that's what I need: MORE COFFEE!!!

Anyway, to those of you out there who aren't yet sending chapters to chairs, let me just say that waiting for comments, at least for me, is agonizing. But near the end of the process, when your chair or committee members start saying, "hey, this looks good," . . . well, that doesn't suck. :)

Write on, my friends.

Accountable

2008-04-24T14:42:00.000-05:00

Just trying to remain accountable here as my deadline creeps closer. This is just a comment about my progress, so feel free to skip it.

Although I do want to say that while it's not a scary dissertation photo, I can tell you about the very vivid and horrible nightmare I had a week or two ago. It's very Anne Lamott. In it, I had to turn in the rough draft of my dissertation and that's what I had to defend. My rough drafts tend to be freewrites and chapter 3, in particular, is an absolute disaster, but for some reason that's all I had, so that's what I gave to my committee. It was awful. In part because it was so completely plausbile.

On a more positive note, my friend Kelly (whose not on this blog, but still) successfully defended her dissertation in comp / rhet yesterday. It can be done!

As for me, I talked over chapter 4 with my chair and she doesn't seem to think it's as much of a mess as I think/thought it is/was. I need to rewrite the last section and expand on that, condense and reorganize a good chunk, be more consistent in my terminology, and work on organization. I'm planning to revise it and send it back to her by May 1st.

And then I'm planning to panic because we'll be into May and my diss is due on the 21st.

Yep, there's that rising feeling of panic again. Dissertating cannot be good for one's health.

Scary (Dissertation) Bootcamp Pictures

2008-04-23T19:18:00.001-05:00

I don't typically look at the site meter that's attached to this blog . . . who's got the time? But I did recently, and I find that the search terms to get here can be quite amusing. The funniest of late? "Scary bootcamp pictures."

I wonder what that might look like for us?

A photo of someone screaming in horror at her adviser's red pen comments on her A photo of someone in the grad carrels, crying and gnashing her teeth over her books (or the books she can't get through Interlibrary Loan)?
A photo of someone screaming in horror at her adviser's red pen comments on her dissertation?
A photo of someone wasting away to nothing as he types and types and types while muttering, "i must finish. . . i must . . . fin...." Then he passes out from exhaustion.
A photo of someone at his diss defense, as he begins to answer the last question and having to stop mid-sentence . . . the financial aid director comes in and says, "There's been a mistake. None of your financial aid these 10 years was valid. You owe the university $183,735 ... payable before you can finish this defense."

What would be a scary bootcamp photo for you?

Cross-posted at Parts-n-Pieces

What is this "schedule" of which you speak?

2008-04-22T19:07:00.000-05:00

5:00-6:00?! In the morning?!!! Yikes! Exclamation points!!!

I'm more of a late morning, afternoon sort of person. I only see 5 or 6 in the morning if I need to catch a plane.

As for my writing schedule, there's my intended schedule and my actual schedule. I always intend to get up around 7 or 8, get to the grad carrels by 8 or 9, and write until 11:30 or 12 (for lunch or a meeting). The rest of the day depends on the day, as I work in the writing center on Wednesdays from 1-2 and have meetings every other week. But generally I'm back in the grad carrels by 2:30 on meeting days, by 1:30 on non-meeting days, and I write until about 4:30-5.

That's the idea, at least.

In practice, it goes a little more like this: I get up around 8:30 - 9:30, get to the grad carrels by 10, screw around for a half an hour checking email and playing scramble on facebook, write for an hour and a half or so, then go to lunch and/or meetings. I get back to the grad carrels by 2 and write for a few hours.

then feel guilty for the rest of the evening because I'm not writing enough.

SO, I'm really trying this week to be more focused when I'm in the grad carrels, and to work after dinner (which is particularly difficult since my significant other doesn't have to bring work home with him). So tonight I'm reading over chapter 2 and trying to make a few changes so I can send it to my chair. If I could do that tonight, she'd have my intro and first two revised chapters. And I'd feel pretty good about that.

Which means I should go back to work.

Writing Schedule

2008-04-22T13:31:00.000-05:00

Hello. My name is Billie, and I'm a binge writer.

I like writing binges. I can get a dozen pages drafted out in a binge session. I binge write, then I edit (purge?). It's a system that has worked for me. But as time moves on, I'm finding that I don't have the larger blocks of time that I like . . . it's rare to have them, actually. Especially now at the end of a semester, there just aren't big blocks of time that I can devote to any one activity. So, what's happening is that since I don't have the huge blocks of time to write, I don't write.

And this isn't getting me anywhere.

So, I have decided . . . and I've resisted this decision for some time as I really don't like to keep my time structured . . . to construct a writing schedule. This may just keep me on task. (All the literature says this is a good method to producing text consistently.) As time moves on, I'm also becoming more and more ready for this ordeal to be over. I need to write in order to finish, I need to finish in order to defend, I need to defend before I can move on to the next stage of my life. And I'm ready to move.

So the schedule. I'm thinking I'll get up early each morning (starting tomorrow morning), and allow an hour each day, from 5:00 to 6:00 for example, to be my sacred hour. If I can write more in any given day, I will, but I will dedicate that one hour to the dissertation.

Do any of you have a writing schedule you keep? Care to share your experiences with this tool?

My Update, Too

2008-04-19T22:16:00.000-05:00

OK, I left this in a comment to Abby below, but since you guys are doing it, I'm going to post my own, too.

My writing has slowed over the past month or so. A lot. I'm waiting on feedback from a number of people on a couple of chapters and I can't seem to get it together to write without knowing where I am (in terms of where they think I am). I hate being dependent like that . . . but there you go. I did talk with advisor the other day, and he has agreed that my initial diss plan was waaaaaaaay too ambitious given the constraints of a dissertation. We have agreed to trim the work back to something manageable and finishable . . . and I could not be happier about that decision. I was drowning in data. The data, however, can be used elsewhere . . . and that's the second part of our plan.

I'm still unsure exactly how to proceed now without that feedback, but my writing plan is to start tomorrow on the "findings and analysis" chapter and just base that work on the case studies. Ultimately that work will be useful even if it doesn't appear in that kind of chapter. We'll see.

So, similar to how Meagan describes her writing process, I am a writer who has to dump the words all over the page (or the Anne Lamott's phrasing, I have to "vomit" all over the page), then I go back and clean it up. Now isn't that a lovely image? ;-)

truckin'

2008-04-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

I'm slowly but surely working and writing. I'm working on the first data chapter (which I'm also writing with the goal of sending out for publication). I'm consistently getting a few pages down a day. They're rough, but that's how I roll. I'm meeting with my director later this week, so I'm hoping to have something more coherent by then. It could happen.

update

2008-04-19T12:11:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update: I finished the revision of my lit review yesterday. I'm trying to work on my introduction today (I'm on page 8 of, I'm guessing, 12-15 -- brief intro) but I'm burnt. I'll keep trucking for a bit, but then have to go to the grocery store and do that other-life kind of stuff. That weird other realm that's NOT related to my dissertation, but includes things like dishes, grocery shopping, taking out the trash, lunch, and meetings.

How's everyone else doing?

Revisions

2008-04-16T08:22:00.000-05:00

I'm not good at revising. I never have been. I've always been a one-draft kind of woman. But that doesn't work for this process. So I'm revising. I've basically got a full draft of my dissertation (I'm saving the brief conclusion for the end, appropriately enough) and have a chapter revised (chapter 2). I'm working on revising chapter 1 -- my lit review -- this week. And last week, actually. I need it done by Friday so I can send it to my writing group. My deadline (May 2oth, I think) is fast approaching, but my motivation level is incredibly low. I am just soooo beyond done with all of this.

But it has to get done, so here I sit in the grad carrels in the library with my bag of almonds, my piece of string cheese, and my Odwalla Strawberry C Monster, trying to face the day of meetings and writing. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping these are magic inspirational and motivational almonds. Tony Robbins almonds. Here's hoping.

If only there were a pill.....

2008-04-07T10:50:00.000-05:00

Greetings, bootcampers. I found this YouTube video through a new blog, Thirty-Thirty. Take a look at the clip. It's a riot. (The blog is pretty good, too.) I only wish writing a dissertation were so easy..... ;-)

Checking in (again and again)

2008-04-06T19:15:00.004-05:00

Hey, folks-- It's been a while since I've posted, but I think about you all (and this blog) just about everyday. I just returned from a conference in New Orleans where I was fortunate enough to meet Chris, Meagan, Jason (ok, I already knew Jason), K8, Tamika, and a whole host of other dissertation writers. It was so nice to meet others who are in the same boat. While I haven't written here as much as I would have liked (and I'm about to change that), I am so glad to know you all. I appreciate what you are experiencing, and I appreciate that you appreciate what I'm experiencing.

Right before New Orleans, I chatted with my advisor who was very supportive of my work thus far, and while in New Orleans, I was able to meet with one member of my committee. She, too, was supportive. I'm not exactly sure that I'll be able to pull it off, but our plan is for me to finish this summer. It's a huge task, but it just might be doable . . . doable now that I have reconfigured the dissertation.

Now, that sounds uncomfortable. I'm not really changing as much as I am limiting. And given that I'm working with sports, basic writing, and collegiate-level athletics, limiting the work has become an important activity. What I have produced thus far are methodology and case study chapters. The next chapter was to be about "alternative pedagogy" and alternative assignments, but I've decided to wait on that and let the data and that informs this chapter become other potentially publishable work. What I'll do now is take what I have and focus on how the fairly traditional assignments I have highlighted in the case study chapter were taught in with "alternative pedagogy." I hope that made sense.

But the point is to focus and finish. Focus and Finish. That's my new mantra.

While finishing and focusing on the dissertation is first and foremost (what's with all the "fs"?) on my schedule, I do have a few other writing projects bubbling to the surface. Chris and I are working on a collaborative article on student athletes and surveillance, and I'm finishing another collaborative piece with a local colleague on reflexive photography. I'm also drafting an article that is not dissertation related, but is related to my current full-time job: dissertation-writing groups in a writing center.

OK, I have about 3.5 months to finish my dissertation work. I think I can do it, but it'll be hard. I do have a tendency to be a bit soft emotionally . . . and I anticipate that to be a challenge, but I'll get this done. I'll get it done if I focus and finish. Expect me to post here quite often.

Oh, and I've been using an analogy for writing the dissertation for about a year: wrestling an alligator. I now have a picture. A real alligator. I've already kicked its ass so hard, it's color is gone. (Pic taken at the New Orleans Aquarium.)

Done-ish

2008-04-04T16:37:00.000-06:00

Well, it's finally "done." There are holes in the chapter and the end falls apart, for sure, but I sent it to my chair for some overarching comments. My brain is pure pudding so I'm taking a few days off to do things like laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, and spending time with friends.

On Monday, I'm going to start revising my lit review. Wish me luck.

Quick update

2008-03-31T13:07:00.000-06:00

Full draft by Monday? Not so much.

Tuesday? Probably not, but hopefully close.

Wednesday? Now THAT seems do-able. I'm on page 33 right now and have lots more to say, so it's not so much about page length at this point I guess. Still 33 pages feels decent. I got 19 to my writing group on Friday, struggled on Saturday, but was relatively productive yesterday.

Tonight Meagan and I are meeting to talk about what we've written at a dive bar that has remarkably good grilled cheese sandwiches. So I'm going to try to keep writing for a bit and then head down there.

Haven't heard much from the rest of the DBCers lately. Hope all is well. And good luck to those heading to CCCC. Wish I was there!

Chunks

2008-03-26T22:12:00.000-06:00

I'm getting some writing done, but right now, it's all in chunk form. I'm not worried about this-- this is how my writing process goes-- but I still (still!) wish that everything I wrote came out whole and coherent and smooth on the first pass. This would be much quicker that way.

Some progress

2008-03-26T14:46:00.001-06:00

Just a quick note to say that I'm on page 11 of my embodied rhetoric chapter. There's A LOT of information I need to figure out how to get into this chapter, but I feel like I have a better sense of how to do that than I did with the rhetorical listening chapter. I'd like to have a full chapter draft done by Monday or Tuesday, and would ideally have at least 20 pages to send to my writing group Friday night. That's the plan, Stan.

Reading, reading, reading

2008-03-21T19:52:00.000-06:00

I apologize for not posting lately, but I've been reading instead of writing. I was hoping to get back to writing tomorrow, but I think it'll be more like Monday. I read two books today, though, so I'm happy about that. I have some errands to run tomorrow, but I'm hoping to read at least a few articles tomorrow, too.

How's everyone else out there doing?

Drafted

2008-03-05T13:18:00.001-06:00

That seems appropriate (although scary, I suppose) for the whole Boot Camp idea. But I finally finished a very ugly draft of my third dissertation chapter (rhetorical listening) this morning. it's a complete disaster (also called a disaster draft, in my world), but it's done enough for now.

I'm heading over to the grad carrels to read for a few hours, then heading home on what is a very dreary New England day.

Almost

2008-02-28T15:20:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is the last day of February and I've said that this time, THIS TIME, I'm going to have this chapter draft done by the end of the month.

I lied.

But I am thisclose to having it done. It's messy and ugly and quite possibly the worst thing I've ever written, but it's close to at least being a completed mess. I'm at about 14,000 words and I still need to write the section about challenges to traditional notions of persuasion and might need a section on a pedagogy of rhetorical listening and I need to wrap up the rhetorical listening in the classroom section, but I feel like, at least for today, I'm at the end of my abilities.

We have friends coming into town tonight so my weekend is probably a lost cause. I only see them 2-3 times a year, at best, so I'm not willing to sacrifice my time with them for writing. But I think, I THINK, I can have this chapter done by mid week next week. It's possible that I could keep writing this afternoon, but my back hurts something fierce and there are dishes to be done.

So I give up. At least for now. But I wrote 6 pages today and that's something to celebrate.

Themes

2008-02-22T17:11:00.000-06:00

This has been an up and down week for me-- but I wanted to talk about how excited I am about some of the progress I've made this week. I'm actually working on a presentation that I'll be giving at the school where I got my MA (they asked me to come back and be a part of their annual grad student symposium). This has conveniently coincided with the completion of my data collection. I've been looking through the data and looking for themes and I'm finding some worthwhile things to talk about. It's fun!

Just a quick hooray

2008-02-22T08:44:00.001-06:00

I just wanted to post a quick HOORAY for DBC. I got up (late) this morning and thought, "Maybe I'll just stay home this morning. I could do dishes, watch that two hour Supernatural I recorded. I have to go in later this afternoon to watch a presentation, but I could just stay here until then. It's cold out and snowing and nice and warm in here." Then I read Billie's most recent post and was reminded to go put my butt in a more productive chair -- one at the library. So I will. So hooray for DBC and for Billie for reminding me to at least TRY to be productive whenever I have the time and energy.

February (mid month progress)

2008-02-21T22:59:00.000-06:00

Hi, all-- Following Abby's lead..... I've made some progress this month. I've rewritten/revised the methodology chapter and I am **this close** to being done with the case study chapter. Next up is the literature review. I have asked someone to read the case study chapter-- and he always offers such good feedback-- but I just haven't gotten it done yet. But really. I'm **this close.** I'm hoping to send it out on Saturday.

But that brings me to something I've been thinking about lately: apologizing to all dissertation writers everywhere.

Let me explain: Over the past few years, I have read some really awful dissertations, and these are in my (our) discipline. Just awful. They are short and underdeveloped. Riddled with typos. Simplistic. Just awful for something that is suppose to add original knowledge to the field, to contribute to the profession. Some of the dissertations I've read? Not even close.

However, writing is a dissertation is so hard. Really. I'm finding it exhausting and sometimes demoralizing and infantalizing. I think to myself, "if I didn't have to work full time," "if I wasn't teaching so much," "if only....." then, I could get the diss done and it'd be a significant contribution, and I'd get a job, and make millions, and write books, and live happily ever after.

But those dissertations I scoffed at? They might have been weak or not carefully proofread or whatever, but they are done. A committee of graduate professors let them through. Those writers actually kept their butts in seats (to borrow Abby's phrase) and they got the work done. They are now Ph.D.s somewhere..... So, to all of those disses I dissed: I'm sorry. I didn't understand.

But tomorrow? I will keep my butt in the seat and I'll get that case study finished. I will.

A bit of progress

2008-02-21T16:11:00.000-06:00

This is just to say that I wrote four pages yesterday and 3 and a half today. They're not quality, but right now I'm shooting for quantity. Quality will be the goal for the revision. As I've said many times before and recommitted to again, I plan to have this chapter done by the end of the month. I really mean it this time. I'm relatively close -- within 15 pages I think -- so it seems possible. As long as I keep getting my butt to the grad carrels in the library, I should be able to make it happen.

Then it's on to my chapter on embodied rhetoric, for which I have more reading to do. That's the rhetorical theory on which there's the most written, and while I've read a good chunk of what I need to, I keep coming across more sources. So I'm planning to finish this chapter and set it aside, then read for a few weeks and then write like a crazy person. Then it's revision, revision, revision, and, of course, more revision.

How're all of you doing?

Kudos

2008-02-15T23:56:00.000-06:00

In case you haven't cruised past Abby's blog lately, I wanted to make sure everyone knew that Abby has accepted a job at Kansas State. It was her first choice, and I know she's really excited about it.

Yay Abby!

At last!

2008-02-15T23:53:00.000-06:00

Just a quick update-- I have finally finished with all of my data collection. I ran two discussion sessions today, and that takes care of it. The discussions brought out a lot of really juicy info, so I'm looking forward to getting down to work with it.

If only I could avoid transcribing. If anyone wants to come over and transcribe 6 hours of group conversation, I will gladly compensate by warming up a high-end frozen pizza.

Update

2008-02-12T20:26:00.000-06:00

It's been quite a while, so I thought I'd poke my head in for a lil update.

Right now I'm still collecting data for my ethnographic study of literacy practices of student-athletes. My subjects are still in the midst of their season and are stretched for time, so data collection has been slow since xmas. I've also had to make some adjustments to the original study design because of issues of access to my subjects. This part has been both frustrating and interesting.

Since the data collection is in something of a lull, I've been trying to read and write towards a diss chapter. Right now I'm going through some of the theoretical texts that are foundational to my working theory of literacy education, development and research. I haven't been cross-posting my current series on Pierre Bourdieu and Literacy as Activity, but if you want to check it out here's Part I, Part II, and Part III.
Right now it's not that important whether these series add up to actual chapters. They're useful, if for nothing else, in practicing articulating the thoughts I'm having and practicing talking about my (REALLY raw) data.

So that's what I'm up to, folks.
The data collection officially ends in May. Then I'll start with the grueling tasks of interpreting and making sense of it all. Though it will no doubt be tedious, I'll be thrilled to actually reach this stage of production!

Incentive(s)

2008-02-09T09:28:00.000-06:00

Each Wednesday this semester is my "writing day." I've been using incentives to keep my butt glued to the chair so I can get writing done on those days. So far, it's been working. If I work long enough (timewise) or write enough (length wise), I treat myself to an outing where I can take photographs. I've been to the Japanese Gardens, the Zoo, a park . . . natural type places that soothe me in weird ways. This morning, I'm settled down to write, and this afternoon, I'm heading to a basketball game where I can -- you know -- take more pictures. The incentives keep me motivated to produce something.

What motivates you? What incentives do you use?

February Goals

2008-02-07T16:30:00.000-06:00

I can't believe the number of times I've said this but I really really mean it this time: I will have a draft of my Rhetorical Listening chapter done by the end of February. That's right y'all: a drafty draft of Chapter 3 will be done by the end of this month.

Now I just have to kick this cold, which I will, and soon. And then it is all grad carrels all the time. Time to get back on that dissertation horse. Boot camp? that's exactly what I need. Somebody to kick my behind into high gear.

February Goals (January Goals met)

2008-02-02T09:22:00.000-06:00

Hi, all-- I followed the Jerry Seinfeld method of productivity, and it worked. At least for January. I kept a calendar on the wall above my desk at home, and each that I worked on the dissertation, I placed a big "X" on that calendar square. I'm not exactly sure why Thursdays were not such good days for me, but now that I see it on a calendar, I can be more cognizant of those days. Overall, I think this wasn't bad progress. I worked almost everyday (save Thursdays), and I did this through a sprained knee and the flu. Oh, and the beginning of the spring semester. Not too shabby.

Since I'm such a nonlinear writer, sitting down at the keyboard and stating that I will produce 1,000 words before I get up .... well, that's hard for me. I have used the kneading dough analogy before.... I wrote some, then I go back to another section and knead that, then knead another section, then come back to that part I just wrote and start that kneading process .... so coming up with that word count is hard, but I can do a page count (OK, sort of. I can sort of do a page count.) Right now I have five of the eight chapters drafted ... some more drafty than others, but drafted nonetheless. As I work on one, I go back to another and tweak. I'm sure my process would drive anyone else crazy.... as it does me that way most of the time. But eventually, it gets done, and I like the end result.

But my goal for February is to write everyday... and if I can't actually sit at the keyboard and produce words, I'll do some research, I'll work on my EndNote references, I'll do something diss related. However, I will send the case study chapter to my advisor by the end of next week (it's over a 100 pages long and I'm sick of it -- not the subjects -- but sick of the chapter). I will complete the lit review by the end of February.

Lastly, anyone want to exchange drafts? We've tried that here before with varying degrees of success (thanks Chris!). Anyone? Anyone?

How about you? What are your goals for February?

Trying

2008-01-23T22:38:00.001-06:00

Hi all. Just a quick note to let you know that I'm working, but not so much on my dissertation. The job market takes a good chunk of time, more than I was maybe anticipating. So I haven't been doing a whole lot of writing on it lately. I've been working like a crazy people (and you know how productive crazy people are), but the diss is stalled. I'm hoping to get back on the chapter horse in mid February. But I'll be checking back in.

Best of luck to all of you.

A Little Incentive?

2008-01-23T10:53:00.000-06:00

This term, I spend Wednesday dissertating. No teaching. No tutoring. No telephone calls. No television. No nothing. Just the computer, my notes, some coffee, and a dog sleeping on my feet. So far today, I've written (edited) for about two hours. I'm already a little tired, and it's only 10:45 in the morning.

So. I've devised a plan for myself. A little incentive. I will work until 3:00 p.m. -- work consistently without getting sidetracked by other things (after this, the Internet goes off). At 3:00 . . . if I have been consistent . . . I will take myself either to the Japanese gardens or to the zoo, so I can take some pictures (half priced Wednesdays!). I'll also take myself to Panera for a soup bowl. Yum! I'll take a draft copy of a chapter with me so while I'm gobbling up some soup, I can do some sentence-level editing.

Edited to Add: The incentive planned worked. I was able to get quite a bit of wrting done yesterday.

Cross posted at Parts-n-Pieces.

Getting back to work

2008-01-22T22:05:00.000-06:00

I'm happy to say that I'm back to work on my diss. I'm psyching myself up to really recommit to making substantial progress on my work. I had lost some of my enthusiasm late last term, but I'm excited again. I've got the long-term schedule plotted out and it is manageable. I'm already ahead of things on my weekly schedule. Feeling all right.

Prospectus Approved!

2008-01-21T09:16:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone! I haven't contributed to this blog in a long time. But the truth is, I haven't made a lot of progress on the diss worth mentioning. I've been stuck on my prospectus for various reasons. All in all, it has taken me about 8 frustrating months of writing, rewriting, and waiting. I'm now finished, though! No more revisions, edits, or conversations about it! All of my committee has verbally signed off, and I have successfully set a meeting where we'll make everything official. It's been a long, long, embarassingly long prospectus-writing process. I know I have a dissertation ahead of me, but I still feel like celebrating right now. Anyway, just thought I'd share.

How about starting at the beginning...

2008-01-12T17:53:00.000-06:00

Hi folks - Just a quick post to introduce myself.

My name is Rebecca. Some of you may have stumbled on my more broad-based blog. (It tends to be kind of stream of consciousness or whatever is annoying me/happening on a given day.)

I am just starting to work on my dissertation proposal in Education Policy. (Specifically I am looking at what traits make a student more or less likely to be successful in charter schools.) I am at an R1 in the southwest.

My progress is likely to be slow this term. I have been invited to a seminar in late March for "outstanding" graduate students that is intended to help us formulate our proposals. That means the focus of the next few months will be on the theoretical/philosophical issues of my work; thinking and conceptualizing really.

I'll stick my head in here from time to time and post an update, encouragement, my own whining, etc. Thanks for welcoming me!

A Moment of Dissertation Frustration (aka Whinefest)

2008-01-12T14:07:00.000-06:00

I've been writing at my second case study for about six weeks, maybe longer. It seems like longer. And I can't seem to move forward, really at all . . . I'm stuck in the midst of issues that are so large and so complex that I can't seem get out and focus on the one thing that I need to focus on: student writing.

Overall, I'm writing about specific student-athletes in revenue-producing sports. With this case study subject, however, I'm having a very hard time separating HIM from all the NOISE around him. I need to focus on his writing, yet issues of athletics (and he was a "star" of sorts), race, and gender factor into it all. Not only those issues-- which in and of themselves can be written around-- but there are academic preparedness issues, socialization issues, basic writing (debates within and outside the classroom), and this was the year of my research that the whole class had behavioral issues. Intense and serious behavioral issues. This particular student/subject in the 2nd case study represents the second year of my research study, and this was the year of dealing with grown men who behaved as children in so many ways, really muscular and tall and heavy children (some of them with sociopathic tendencies)-- there was a grad student observing the class (and observing me) for his thesis, there were a lot of university stakeholders observing this course from around campus and that weighed on me (as they all had something to say about how I did my job) . . . . In some ways, these issues do not pertain to the student/subject at all, but in many more ways, they do. I just keep getting sucked into all these other issues and I'm not easily able to focus on the students' writing.

Maybe I've just having difficulty separating **my** emotional investment in the course as both a teacher and as a researcher from the one thing that I need to write about: how the student's writing changed throughout the year and how this course (my pedagogy) affected that transformation. So, my plan is to move to another chapter -- just work on something else -- and let the dust and the noise settle around this case study.

Yesterday, I sent the case study to a friend of mine who is an educational psychologist and she's done tons of case studies. She said she'd look at it and get back with me Monday about where I'm getting stalled. She might be able to offer some insight. I truly hope so. I think it's probably too late to change my dissertation topic.

Cross-posted: PartsnPieces