2 Dissertating Challenges

[Cross-posted on Learn To Live With It]

Since I'm still here :-), I wanted to share 2 more thoughts. The first is an overall challenge while dissertating. The second thought is specific to my empirical chapters but one can conceivably extend it to the rest of the dissertating experience.

1. The hardest thing, time and again, heck I'd say day in and day out is the ABCD rule. That is, Apply Butt to Chair and Dissertate. Even when there is momentum. Even when you finish a chapter. Even after a particularly good writing day. It takes every ounce of strength and willpower to sit down in front of your laptop/computer/what have you each time and click on that icon on the desktop that represents the document you're currently working on. I think the clicking of the document is very tough. Those seconds between moving your finger over the trackpad to the click to the opening of an in-progress document - worse still if you're starting a new document - that's just when I end up feeling the urge to flight. Once it's open I think I breathe more easy and feel like I can tackle this. A productive morning doesn't automatically translate into the desire to sit down and continue the same rhythm in the afternoon. I wonder why that is. I suspect because it's intimidating to stare at a blank screen not knowing how much you'll write today or if you'll write anything that's usable. The latter is the most difficult - when you know you're putting in the time and the output, although helpful in working through an argument, isn't going to end up in the category of "finished dissertation pages" can be rather frustrating. Personally, I need pin drop silence to write and process. So it means being sort of a recluse. Hmm not just sort of. Not that I have trouble being myself and I cherish my "me-time" I do crave social interactions. That I currently seem to be starving myself on that front might be why I'm feeling so worn out. But I also know that I have to be strong through this or it isn't getting done - not just by the deadline I have in mind but not at all. And I'll be damned if I have this stretch out a few months longer because I just don't have the mental or emotional energy to continue feeling as stagnant as dissertating can feel. [Nopes I'm not bitter but I am restless.]

2. I'm currently writing a chapter that is based on original field research. I have a lot more interviews than I can conceivably include. I've made peace with that. Of the ones I thought I'd include until last week, well let's just say it would be overkill if I included all of them. I've noticed that, on average, the analysis of each interview is ranging about 20 pages. If I include all 11, well you do the math. So I'm working on cutting down the number. And it's almost like asking a parent of more than one kid who their favorite child is. I have no magical formula how to decide which ones to include and which to exclude. It's not just about page length. I suspect they get redundant real quickly in terms of the overall argument. The minute details are fun but not critical to moving the argument along. To be honest, the practical side of me concurs with a serious editing of that list of 11 - because having fewer to analyze means the deadline becomes attainable. In this worn out state, that consideration is part of the calculation. Of course then I end up feeling guilty. So I review my analysis again and it also makes intellectual sense. The challenge here is not about overcoming the guilt - or at least it's not what I'm focusing on. I have figured out what to do, more or less, for this current chapter. It might mean ignoring 2 interviews that I was really excited about but could well be a stand-alone chapter on a sub-topic within the dissertation in terms of the empirical sites I'm looking at. That the interviews of these individuals are of retired military officers and I'd planned for 'the military' to be a separate chapter in my dissertation but dropped the idea since I didn't have enough interviews to do that because of access issues [long story that I really don't feel like revisiting right now]. However, I could change these into a spin-off piece in the form of a journal article so it's not like I won't work on them ever. Nonetheless, what's difficult is that you do so much work and so little makes it to the dissertation project that it feels akin to a major letdown. Again I understand that it's not like I could have found a magic shortcut along the way and what feels like meandering is just part of the process and how it works. Still, that it never figures in can be heart-breaking and gut-wrenching.

Enough ranting/blogging, now I must open the file for chapter 6. Wish me luck!

Greetings from Bionic-Woman

Good Morning DBCers!

Bionic-Woman here. I want to thank Billie for inviting me to the party (read: dissertating hellaciousness) as a crew member.

I'm currently trying really really really hard to wrap up my Ph.D. in International Relations from ABD-land. I'm about to start year 7 when the 2008-2009 academic year begins. Prior to this, I was firmly entrenched in the humanities - communications and cultural studies - to be precise. My present social sciences avatar remains unwilling to let go of those roots. My research remains firmly focuses on identity and the ways in which social and political orders are negotiated discursively. In my dissertation, I'm exploring the same but looking at a particular international conflict (since I continue to cling to some measure of anonymity in the blogosphere I'm continuing to be somewhat nondescript here). It's an ethnomethodological study though which means I look at everyday life including interviews with actors and pop culture.

I keep hearing about the magical 6 weeks in which dissertators get their act together. I'm in week 5 of that cycle. What do I have to show for it? A prelude/preface and chapters 1-5. Chapters 6-8 remain.

In a magical world, this draft would be perfect. Far from it. But it'll be a working draft that can be edited into a version that I can actually defend. So I'll be here checking in - commiserating, celebrating, and ranting - through the remainder of my "hopefully magical 6 weeks journey" and the glorious moment until there is a successful dissertation defense.

Enough about me. How are you folks doing?

Day 30: (food metaphors)

Hi, all. Just my daily checking in post. Today I added almost 4,000 words to my lit review. Most of that was supporting material, and I still have a lot of work to do to trim this monster down to something manageable. But that's part of my process. I do a brain dump all over my page and then go back and shift through. I think it was Anne Lamott who used the metaphor of "vomiting" all over the page. That visual works.

I like the metaphor of kneading bread dough. One adds all the ingredients and mixes. Then one kneads the dough. It then needs to rest (and rise). One kneads it again. Then it rests (and rises) again. And that process continues for some time until the dough is ready to be baked. In my kneading process, I take away info... then I might add a little something else, then I'll take it back out. It's all the process.

Maybe I should change my metaphor from baking and kneading bread to something else . . . making spaghetti sauce or something.

Ok, tomorrow starts day 29, and I'm already feeling a little panic. I can do this. The diss doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to be finished.

The Only Good Diss is a Done Diss

Over the past week, a number of people left sayings like "The only good dissertation is a done dissertation" on my main blog. I'd like to continue the fun over here. Below, I will list those sayings that I know or have heard about completing the dissertation. Some of them are funny, but they are all encouraging. Do you have others to add to the list?

--------------------------------------------------------

• The only good dissertation is a done dissertation.



• Pass without Embarrassment



• The dissertation is a rough draft for a book (if you want a book out of it).



• The dissertation is a rough, rough, rough, rough draft of a book.



• There are two kinds of dissertations: good ones and finished ones.



• About the dissertation: don't get it right, get it written.



• Go with a dissertation written not a dissertation planned.



• When three chapters are completed, you know you can finish the diss.



• What do they call a person who writes the year's worst dissertation that passes? Doctor.

Productivity

Sounds like a lot of Boot Campers are being productive. Good for us!

Earlier today I submitted a draft of my second chapter. Rolling right along. For now...

I'm setting another target date for a draft of my third chapter: 31 August. It's an ambitious goal b/c of some traveling I'm doing in the coming 6 weeks (NYC, S. FL, and hopefully Denver for the DNC convention). Oh, and that pesky lil fall semester thing. But it's my goal.

Good luck to me and good luck to you, my fellow Campers!

Day 32 (and counting)

Hi, again, all. Today I went back to work after having three weeks of vacation. ("Vacation," heh, a time that I was chained to my desk writing. It was so fun! Wish you'd been there!!!) Anyway, I very quickly remembered why it's taken me so long to get this dissertation finished. I didn't accomplish a whole lot today because, you know, well, work got in the way. I did manage to add about 1,000 words to my lit review after moving some text around, conflating some sections, and constructing a table comparing the top 25 football programs in 2007 with Princeton Review's top 25 academic schools in 2007. The point was to show how there is no overlap between the schools on these lists. But that seems rather obvious now, so I'll probably remove the table tomorrow.

I haven't done much tonight but piddle around on YouTube looking for Springsteen videos (what a time suck). :-) I'm now going to take a hard copy of my chapter and make some hand-written notes for tomorrow.

How's it going for all of you?

Hello

Hello Everyone. I'm glad that such a space exists for us as we dissertate. I am writing on national and state poets laureate, their works, poetics, and community outreach/cultural value.

I've written a first draft of my prospectus and am revising because I still don't have a hard-hitting thesis that covers all chapters. I know everything I want to say; I just don't know how to position what I have to say in an argument.

I'm working through how to write everything about my diss before I've written it :).

The strategy I'm going to use tonight when I get home is to ask myself global question after question. Then I'll see which I should turn into an answer & then maybe I'll end up with a thesis.

Best to everyone's writing,

Toni

Day 33 (and counting)

Hi, all. Just a quick check in. I have been writing all. damn. day. And I'm worn out. My lit review has 14,840 words as of this moment . . . but I write a lot, then I must pare it down .... and there's a lot of paring that has to happen with this work. However, the work is organized in the sections it needs to be in and about half of the information is in the order it needs to be in. So I feel good about that. I just need to blend and blend and blend (and organize the 2nd half). All that is the plate for tomorrow.

Tonight, I'm going to a baseball game. I'll probably take the text with me, though, and so some line editing.

34 Days and Counting

Hi, all--

As many of you know, I had wanted to finish this summer and potentially graduate in August. Through an unfortunate series of events within my department, that's not going to happen (and I've known that for a while). So. A little change in plans. I met with my advisor a few days ago, we figured out what I need to do to finish. The work won't be the groundbreaking text I had desired -- that'll have to come later :-) -- but I can get it done. My date to have the completed dissertation to my chair is August 22nd. I'll then have to do some revisions or clarifications or whatever, but the bulk of the work will be done.

In order to meet this deadline, I'm having to ignore (for a while) some of the work I wanted to do in this dissertation. As I mentioned last week, I have an extensive research agenda based on this dissertation. My job now is to complete what I have. I'll turn it in. I'll make whatever changes I need to make. I'll defend early in the fall (my desire), and I'll graduate in December. The graduation is a formality -- and I really like the ceremony of earning a Ph.D. and the public recognition that comes with that event. I will, however, be a Ph.D. earlier than December.

In the next 34 days, I have to finish my lit review, write one chapter on my findings, and finish the intro/conclusion. The intro and conclusion will be short . . . and probably not as rich as I'd like them to be. But you know what? That's perfectly fine with me.

I'm going to post here everyday for the next 34 days just to keep myself accountable. You are welcome to comment or not . . . I just need a space to post my accomplishments. I know you'll be reading, and that will encourage me to work hard.

Another update and excerpt

Hey folks! I feel like I'm doing pretty well with the diss writing. I think I may be able to send off another chapter draft by next week. The writing is a bit experimental in the sense that it's not "traditional" ethnography writing. And that makes me a bit nervous about how Eli, my diss chair, will react. Some of the "scenes" I'm writing feel better than others, but overall I'm *really* liking this method.

I thought I'd share another excerpt (but just a portion of it b/c it's so long) to participate in the sharing. And if anybody has any thoughts on the writing in general or on the title or the diagram in particular, I'm all ears.

[Cross posted in full at Wind Farm]

Here is another "scene" from the chapter I am currently composing. It's longer than I'd like, but in addition to providing a window into the lives of each of my subjects - which is my way of "introducing" my subjects - I want to show them in the contexts I observed them in. Though I did get to know some of my subjects well, I would never say we were "buddies." So part of me feels it would be misleading to describe them in such a way - i.e. with a focus on their personalities or their likes/dislikes, etc. My method of "introducing" the subjects tries to imitate Kathleen Stewart's "new ethnography." Because of my focus on physicality and materiality, this feels *right*. But I've said this before in previous posts. I've also mentioned my nervousness about submitting this chapter. But whatever.

There are approximately 13 scenes right now. The settings range from bball practice, to study halls, to classroom interactions, to meals in the cafeteria. As well, I've decided to incorporate scenes that focus on non-subjects to provide some insights into the characters that circulate through this ecology and who have a huge impact on what takes place. Some of those non-subjects include an informant, an administrator, Coach and the coaches, other students and at least one instructor. I'll compose two or three more and then revise the introduction to this chapter. At the moment there is no "analysis" of each scene. I prefer it that way for the time being. We'll see what Eli thinks...

Here, now, complete with a basic layout of the classroom, is the scene (the title of which I am not happy with):

Scene II: “Students and Classes”
04 October 07 AA in English 099

8:00 a.m. and still the researcher sits alone. He grabs his bag and exits the classroom to search the surrounding rooms. He has the class schedule for each of the participants, and he has meticulously charted them out, but maybe he made a mistake. As he walks out he runs into CC who is walking up the steps. Like a haggard St. Christopher without his walking stick, he wearily leans on the railing. CC is haggard, bent over at the waist and, with great effort, pulling himself up the railing one hand over the other. To his knees and both calves there are bags of ice Saran wrapped to his legs – 4 ice bags altogether. The team had 6:00 a.m. conditioning again today. CC is heading to English class he says, so the researcher walks with him, thinking maybe he shares this 099 English class, a basic writing course that precedes 101, with AA (even though his chart of schedules indicates otherwise). As they slowly amble towards the room CC, who will earn a 3.69 GPA this semester, laments, “This is retarded English. I don’t even know why I’m in it.” They approach the door and CC opens it. As he walks through the researcher sees that this isn’t the right class; he hasn’t received permission from this instructor to observe. “Oops,” he says, “wrong one. I’ll be back later.”

He continues his search by peering through the glass into the classrooms that surround the courtyard. Then Dr. X emerges from the elevator with books and materials in tote; she pulls a roller file – basically a plastic crate with wheels and a handle. Five minutes after the 8:00 class time the researcher follows the instructor into the room. At 8:05 AA is the first to arrive. He takes his seat in the front of the room in the second row in front of the lectern (AA is the green X in Fig. X.XX). Appearing harried but not necessarily rushed, the instructor walks into a room with two people – AA and the researcher. Referring to the missing students she exclaims, “This is unusual, very unusual.”

(Fig. X.XX. The green X is AA. The brown X is the researcher. The yellow rectangles represent computers. The red Xs are males. The purple Xs are females. The navy blue X at the front of the room is a SmartBoard. The aqua blue in the back is a wall of windows.)

AA is carrying a half-empty, blue Gatorade Fierce and his backpack, olive green with black straps. He’s wearing black slip-on sandals with white socks pulled up to his mid-calves and a white t-shirt and white gym shorts with red/black triangle design towards the outer knee on each side. His backpack remains on the table to his right throughout the class.